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bratbarzal · 4 months ago

Text

On Your Side (NH13) / Prologue

Pairing: Nico Hischier x Fem!OC Poppy Jensen

WC: 13k

Chapter Warnings: angst, miscommunication, ghosting? maybe, some cursing, mentions of OC having nephews (gross), being broken up with over a text, allusions to anxiety, my oc being argumentative and avoidant (she's me), and nico also being avoidant and a poor communicator (he's a man) (he's also a capricorn) (sorry capricorns)

Summary: Poppy Jensen’s job with the New Jersey Devils was supposed to be her first big step into adulthood - a way to prove to herself and her overbearing parents that she could make her own way in life. She was never supposed to become involved with any of the players. Becoming best friends with their captain was stupid. Getting her heart broken by him was tragic. Getting knocked up with his child was just plain messy.

Series Masterlist

A/N: is a 13k prologue excessive? probably. is the mixture of tenses in this part going to grind your gears? most definitely. am I going to do anything about it? no.

I've never actually published any writing before so go easy on the girl. if I need to tag any warnings just let me know. if you like the fic let me know. if you don't like the fic I beg you I'm having a bad month spare meeeeee.

TW for british english spellings because shock horror I am unfortunately british, get used to u's and s's where you least expect them, I will change my spell check settings for no one!! nico's facebook aunt shenanigans have lit a fire within me today and I was writing a later chapter for this fic and thinking if I don't actually put this out into the world I never will so here we are hi my name is maggie I hope you enjoy

Poppy

New Years has always been Poppy Jensen’s favourite holiday. The dwindling aftermath of Christmas - lights and decorations still hung throughout the city, everyone decked in the hats, scarves and ugly sweaters gifted by distant relatives over the Christmas period, and the six days of limbo usually spent drinking and eating copious amounts of leftovers before the new year, new me resolutions kick in - and experiencing it all in her hometown surrounded by the people she loves the most, there is no other time like it.

This year, she feels like the festive period has been one, long, strung-out horror show.

Self-inflicted, of course, like all the other tragedies of her life, she does know she only has herself to blame for how pathetic it has turned out.

She had prepared herself for Christmas to be a dud. The one time of the year that she and her family put aside their differences, and this year she had opted out - or, so her mother had dramatically concluded; she actually just had work commitments. But, this would be her first spent alone due to the fact her parents had decided to go and visit her older brother, Oliver, and his family in San Francisco.

They didn’t have to fly across the country - Oliver has more than enough money to book his clan on a flight back to his home state, but obviously as the golden child, the Jensen’s must bend to his every whim. Of course, Poppy had been invited. Her relationship with her brother wasn’t mutually acrimonious, but the aforementioned work commitments got her out of that bore-fest.

She does love her brother. Sometimes. Christmas, especially - he’s a great and expensive gift-giver. And she loves his wife, Kimberley, and their two sons - her nephews, James and Lucas - but spending the holidays with them would have been a lot. Her family is hard work on the best of days, and the only reason Christmas is ever bearable is because her mother hires help, and it’s impossible for the stress train to leave the station if Priscilla Jensen is given enough wine early enough in the day to dull her usual wicked demeanour.

Kimberley, God bless her soul, maintains a sober house, and Poppy, as much as she respects this, would not go anywhere near that train wreck if you paid her a million dollars.

There’s also the fact that the holidays were invented to unwind, and Poppy somehow always gets lumped on nephew duty. She had long grown out of her boys are gross phase, but lord, do those two try everything in their power to bring it back. She has lost count of the amount of their bodily fluids she has had wiped all over her best clothes over the years. If she had agreed to fly out, she no doubt would have ended up being the one to watch the kids while everyone else had their version of a good time, and so she’d successfully managed to avoid all that with a half-assed promise of visiting at Easter, instead.

Her brother hadn’t been too upset - one less place setting at the table for him to worry about - but her mother had been livid, and there was no chance Poppy would live it down without owing her.

God forbid she, as an adult, actually got to choose how to spend her time.

She hadn’t actually been completely alone on Christmas, not all day, at least. Her best friend Nia had invited her to eat with her and her dad, but they were hardly putting her in the festive spirit with their constant snipes at each other, and so she’d given herself stomach ache stuffing herself full of corn bread and roasted carrots and dipped out to make it home for the Giants game - because there’s no better tradition than watching your team lose on Christmas Day. At least she wasn’t there to watch her dad and brother yell at the TV and get all grumpy for hours after the fact.

She’d watched Love Actually with mulled wine in hand and fallen asleep on the couch - waking up in the middle of the night to the muffled sound of her neighbours screaming at each other through the walls.

Poppy had the 26th off, and spent the day preparing her apartment for New Years, knowing she wouldn’t have any other opportunity to get her big clean done. She’d cleared out half her wardrobe - done several loads of laundry so that she could donate clean clothes to the women’s shelter a few blocks over - rid her kitchen of all the outdated tinned foods in the backs of her cupboards, dusted every surface, vacuumed every floor, colour-coded her bookshelf to look more aesthetically pleasing and then within an hour put it back in alphabetical order - all in a day’s work.

By the time the 27th rolled around, and she had to return to work, she had tired herself out completely. She had been drained, and the worst part of it all, she didn’t even actually need to be there.

Sure, December was a crazy time to work in the NHL, their schedule unrelenting when the season got into full-swing, and the holiday events that Poppy’s team had to organise seemed never ending, but she had technically been given limbo-week off. Not that her mother had to know.

The Youth Foundation team had all wrapped up work for the year on the 23rd, and if Poppy was a truly good daughter/sibling/aunt, she would have booked herself on a red-eye after the home win that evening, but the second the opportunity to accept an actual real excuse not to change her plans arose, she took it with open arms. Her guilt of lying to her family diminished, along with her will to live at the fact she had - self-inflicted, as always - put herself down to work her favourite time of the year.

Her career with the New Jersey Devils had started with an internship in her final year of college. She had worked with the digital content department for her first year, quickly being sniped by the Foundation in the middle of her second year and working her way past content creation to helping co-ordinate and run some of the community events.

When her friend Jessica had approached Poppy and begged for her to cover her spot in the department they had started out together in for limbo-week, spending it with the team at their games, she had jumped at the bit. She knew no one else would agree to work last minute after having their time off approved, and was pleased to relay to her mom that she had to prove herself as a team player if she wanted more responsibility at work. It was all in the name of bumping up her performance and getting her name out there, and definitely not avoiding her family and that whole shit-show.

Poppy loves her job, and is more than happy with her career, but she could sing about it until the cows come home and her parents could not care less. They rarely ever acknowledged her successes because her life didn’t fit the mould they had set out for her - another reason she hadn’t wanted to spend this Christmas hounded with questions of why don’t you come work for your dad? Or why didn’t you accept the interview Ollie so kindly got for you? She doesn’t want a non-sensical, nothing job made up to keep her under her family’s influence. She has forged her own path, one that many dream of in one of the biggest industries in the country, and no matter how much she disappointed her parents in comparison to her lackey brother, she is content with where she is.

She had completely forgotten, however, that the devils played away on the 29th and 30th, and if she was going to be tagging along with the bare-bones limbo week media crew, there was no way in hell she was getting out of joining the team’s New Years celebrations.

She had done her fair share of dodging team events already this year, and despite the fact she could appease most of her friends within the organisation, there was one person who would not let her off so easy.

This year is Jack Hughes’ first year hosting the big Devils New Years party - he’d, in her opinion, stupidly volunteered pretty much last minute after the venue the team had booked flooded in November and cancelled their reservation - and he would not let Poppy get out of coming, even if that meant scuppering her own annual tradition of getting shit-faced with her girls in their perfectly planned New Jersey bar crawl.

She’d done her best work to convince him - had almost sold him on the dream - she and her best friend, Nia, always start at the bar below Nia’s apartment in Hoboken, and then dot to the bars closest to their other friends apartments until they end up by Poppy’s, which has the perfect little rooftop set up where they get to watch all the fireworks across the Hudson. It’s how she’s spent the holiday every year since she and all her girls turned 21, and it was her favourite day, her favourite way to ring in a new year with her best friends in her favourite place in the world.

Jack’s argument was that he also had a great view across the Hudson from his Jersey City apartment, and that she was less likely to catch hypothermia this year because his view came through floor to ceiling windows and the luxury of central heating.

She’d tried to argue that she had all intentions of meeting her future husband on her adventures through New Jersey, and he gave the quick rebuttal that he had plenty of single friends she was yet to meet.

There was no excuse she could give that he couldn’t counteract, and so she’d eventually given up with the resolution that when he is 3 drinks deep, Jack Hughes can barely remember his own name, let alone keep tabs on where Poppy is, or if she ever showed up in the first place. She can always just say she’s running late until he stops asking.

And then she’d somehow gotten roped into helping him set up.

Jack had cornered her on their flight home from Boston, where they had just lost to the Bruins and, all of a sudden, no one was in any kind of mood to party.

“I swear,” he had said, throwing himself down into the vacant seat beside her as she attempted to clear her inbox on the short journey, swiping away messages and storing others to review when work started back up in the next week, “If I mess up this party, and my name goes down in Devils history tied to the biggest depression session this team have ever seen, I’m holding you personally responsible.”

“How the hell would that be my fault?” She had scoffed, kicking at his feet when he had tried to man-spread next to her and they had quite abruptly knocked knees. The staff seats toward the front of the plane weren’t quite as spacious as the player seats further back.

“You brought some serious negative energy with you on this trip,” he shrugged, reaching for the bag of skittles she had stashed in the pocket on the seat in front of her and stealing a handful, “And I can’t blame you for us losing, so I’m gonna blame you for constantly trying to abandon my event and making me feel so insecure about it that it turned into a complete bore-fest because I didn’t have my literal professional event planner friend to help me set it all up.”

Jack Hughes had joined the New Jersey Devils at the same time Poppy had started her internship. There had been some corny ice breaker session for everyone new to the organisation that season, and they’d bonded over their shared love for country music. He’d become dependent on her as a local to the area for recommendations for everything - food, sports bars, coffee, grocery shopping, running routes - and they’d quickly developed a friendship that had lasted them thus far. No fallouts, no drama, no issues. Being friends with Jack is easy.

Poppy is older by near enough 18 months, and considers him as close to a little brother as she will ever find - annoying, teasing, loud and somewhat of a know-it-all, but he cares deeply, and he’s loyal, honest and open with her, and she loves him for it.

“I’ve done my part even helping you plan the thing,” she had to snatch the bag back from him before he finished the skittles off, needing the sugar to keep her awake for the quick drive home when they landed. Jack had been on her back about this party since he had first put his name in the hat to host, and she had been gracious, helping him arrange food, drinks, decorations and DJ equipment in the hopes it would lessen the blow that she didn’t want to attend. “I didn’t bring negative energy.”

“Do I have to kidnap you when we deplane or are you gonna come around tomorrow morning and help me?”

“Kidnap me?” she couldn’t help but laugh, casting a quick measured glance over his figure. “Real cute, Jack, you’re nothing without your stick.”

“I could take you.” He attempted to throw a skittle up into the air and catch it in his mouth, not accounting for the fact they were on a moving, somewhat turbulent plane, and he barely had enough finesse to pull that off on the ground. The candy landed and bounced off his cheekbone, and he watched it fall to the floor with a child-like pout.

“It’s fighting talk like that that would lose you another tooth, Hughesy,” she had threatened in jest.

“I’m a middle child, I don’t start fights I can’t finish, Popcorn.” He also has a track record of giving Poppy the worst nicknames she has ever heard in her entire 24 years on this Earth. “Luke’s already said he’ll help me on the kidnapping front, we have a plan.”

“Your plan is nothing without incentive, Jack. You come at me with weak threats when you could just offer me something in return.”

“Like what?” His eyes narrowed toward her, shuffling in the seat until he was facing her fully.

“I want to bring Nia.” If she was going to be subjected to this, she was bringing back up - and she had thought this would be a good trade, knowing how protective the boys were of their private events, especially those thrown in their own homes.

Poppy hadn’t liked the way his lips curved up immediately, like she had fallen straight into his trap. “Done.” She should have known better. He stood up, edging back into the aisle and sending her a wink. “I’ll text you details on when and where I need you. Your hot friend is more than welcome to offer a hand, too.”

And that is how Poppy has ended up spending the day of New Years Eve, her favourite day of the year, rushing to set up Jack Hughes’ apartment.

Her first task had been to go round to Jack’s and accept the deliveries that came while he and Luke were out picking up the decks for the DJ. Drinks arrived by the crateful, the boxes of paper plates, cups and other table wears took her several trips up and down from Jack’s apartment to the building lobby until she broke out in a sweat, and she had done her best to hang all the decorations, her last call being to pick up the bigger decoration delivery from downstairs.

Poppy, with the help of Lionel, the building’s concierge, loads the elevator full of decor, ranging from golden helium balloons that spell out ‘Happy New Year’ and ‘2024’, a large roll that should hopefully unravel to reveal a backdrop for a makeshift photo-booth, as well as a deconstructed balloon arch that gave her PTSD from the amount of events at the Rock she’d had to put them together.

Lionel offers to come up with her to help unload everything upstairs, but the thought of cramming another person in there with all the stuff makes her feel claustrophobic, so she politely declines - though, when the elevator doors open and she bumps face first into a firm chest, her nose smushing against a khaki t-shirt she wishes she had someone else with her to buffer the tension that stiffens her spine.

A large, calloused hand wraps around her upper arm to steady her, and another reaches out to keep the doors of the elevator from closing in on where she stands. She looks up into eyes swirled with the colour of warm, melted chocolate, and her throat feels just the slightest bit drier than it had 5 seconds ago.

“Hey,” Nico Hischier’s voice is deep, scratchy like he’s just woken up - he probably has given how late the team got in last night - and trickles down in static currents from her ears to the base of Poppy’s back.

She takes a short, startled step back, and gulps down the dryness in her throat before she gives a quick, “Hey,” in response. “Sorry, I’ll just take a second to unload all of this then the elevator is yours.”

“I’ll help,” Nico doesn’t phrase it as a question, as if knowing she would immediately decline. Not, let me help, or do you need help? He’ll just do it. “You get everything out and I’ll take it inside?”

She nods, despite the voice in the back of her head telling her that he’s only helping to get the job done quicker, and be able to get downstairs. She makes a conscious mental effort to drown it out while the two of them work in a silent tandem, her lifting the decorations into the hallway and him towing them down and into Jack’s apartment.

She makes another conscious effort not to watch when he lifts things, the flex of his arms, the rippling muscles of his shoulders.

“Is that the last of it?” He asks, gesturing to the rolled up backdrop leaning on the side of the elevator and propping it open.

“Yeah, but I got it,” Poppy gives a tight smile, lifting the roll but staying in place so the doors don’t close behind her and she doesn’t get stuck any longer in Nico’s presence on her own. “Thanks for helping.”

There used to be a time she couldn’t get enough of being around Nico, but those days are long gone.There is a permanent frigidity between them now - it’s been there since the summer just gone - and she’s overstimulated enough having spent her morning being Jack’s lackey while he no doubt slacks off with his brother grabbing brunch out. Her patience is beyond wearing thin, and so the last thing she needs is prolonged contact with the Devils captain where she will no doubt end up blowing up and making everything worse.

No one wants to ring in the new year with an almighty fallout.

She can’t help the frown that befalls her features when he makes no effort to occupy the elevator. He makes no effort to do anything, only looking at Poppy with a pensive pout. “Jack said I should come help you out.”

Of course he did, she thinks.

For the past four months, Jack Hughes has been acting like it’s his greater purpose in life to bring Nico and Poppy back together - like the demise of their friendship was the greatest personal inconvenience he has ever faced in his life.

He has orchestrated one too many ‘accidental’ run-ins just like this one, and Poppy isn’t going to entertain his childish games any longer.

Nico doesn’t want to be her friend - she knows this for a fact - so Jack’s schemes are becoming a waste of everyone’s time.

“I’m alright, Nia’s on her way, you don’t have to hang around.”

Nia was due at Jack’s apartment two hours ago, but is no doubt still asleep after she was out last night for her pre-New Years celebrations. She’ll come over soon enough, though, and so Poppy doesn’t feel entirely deflated to turn down help she actually might currently need.

“I don’t mind waiting until she gets here.” Nico shrugs, again not giving her a natural opportunity to say no. He nods towards the apartment, gesturing for Poppy to start making her way over. “We both know she won’t take the stairs.”

Something about the way he so casually recalls information about her best friend plucks at her nerves, just a little, reflective of the part of their lives they had once shared with each other like it was nothing, but she shrugs it off, beginning to head towards the apartment with the roll tucked under her arm.

“I thought New Years was your favourite holiday?” He asks once they’re both inside, the sound of the door clicking shut behind him and somewhat trapping her in his presence echoing throughout the room. He doesn’t allow for any kind of prolonged silence between the two of them. If Nico Hischier is good at anything, it’s getting people to talk to him.

It’s not entirely that she doesn’t want to talk to him.

She does.

She’s wanted to talk to him every day for the past 4 months that they hadn’t talked - has been craving even mundane, casual conversation about the weather or traffic on the way into work, but now, as he yet again indifferently recollects such personal details about her as if they have remained close, she begins to feel uneasy.

“It is,” she gives a half-hearted, dismissive response.

“Then why are you all grumpy?”

“I’m not.” She frowns, eyebrows furrowing and arms crossing as she turns to face him, the lie tasting bitter on her tongue.

She’s not trying to be difficult. Or maybe she is. She is in a particularly bad mood, but she had thought she’d done a good job at masking it. He’d been around her all of 2 minutes and saw right through her.

“Jack said you’ve been off all morning.”

Like he cares, she thinks, her mood souring further at the fact he doesn’t see through her or even care at all, he’s here at the request of someone else. Following up on his duties as a captain and fulfilling a favour for one of his actual friends.

Embarrassment floods the pit of her stomach, and rears its ugly head in the form of her biting tone when she replies, “Jack’s been out all morning, how would he know?”

“He left you to do all this on your own?” Nico frowns, gesturing around to the half-way set up apartment. All that’s left to do aside from put up the decorations she’s just lugged up is set up the food and drinks, and Poppy figured she could leave that task to Jack so that it all remained fresher for longer.

“I do this kind of thing for a living, remember?”

She cringes inwardly at the venom in her voice, turning away from him with a huff and missing the way his posture deflates.

“You run events, Poppy, you’re not an assistant.” She can hear his heavy footsteps follow as she moves to set up the photo-booth area. “If I’d known he had you running after him all morning, I’d have-,”

“Called someone else to come help me so you could carry on avoiding me?”

She really is wound up now. Jack bailing on her to do God-knows what while she sets up his party had been one thing - there was a rational part of her brain that would tell her there would no doubt be hiccups in trying to source a bunch of DJ equipment in New Jersey on New Years Eve and he hadn’t actually bailed - and she could write off Nia’s disappearance due to the fact Poppy had sprung the plans on her last minute when she got home and called her last night, and she was bound to show up at some point. But Nico implying she is letting Jack walk all over her and needs anyone’s help to get through setting up a basic party is downright offensive. At least, in her stressed out state, it is - and so she can’t find it within herself to bite her tongue about their situation any longer.

If it drives him away and brings back her solitude to finish setting up without him occupying any precious mind space, so be it.

She almost forgets a key fact about the man before her. He doesn’t give up so easily.

“I’m not avoiding you.” He bites back, stepping into her space and helping her lift the backdrop roll to fit into the brackets she had set up earlier when the structure for the booth had arrived. “I would have come to help you, myself, Poppy.”

She wishes he would stop saying her name.

4 months of radio silence and he’s thrown it at her like a dagger twice in the span of 30 seconds, the way his it rolls of his tongue in a low, smooth rasp scratching an itch she didn’t know she had, and now she can’t shake it.

“I’m fine,” she huffs, reaching as far as she can and pressing until she hears the brackets click into place. At the brief noise, Nico catches on to what he needs to do at his side and manages to click it into place, barely lifting his arms. She moves into the middle of the structure, pulling at the velcro tab holding the roll together until it cascades to the floor and unveils the backdrop in its entirety.

“What else needs doing?” He asks, his tone gentler this time.

“Nothing,” she mutters, winding the velcro in between her fingers to occupy them, before moving to pass him and make her way to the next task on her list. It’s only small things now. Arranging the balloons, setting up the arch, clearing table space for the equipment when Jack finally arrives home. “You can go, I’ve got it.”

“Mohn,” Nico sighs lowly, warm hand clasping around her forearm as she attempts to pass, holding her in place beside him.

She really wishes he wouldn’t call her that.

If Jack is the prince of childish monikers that make her insides curl, Nico is the king of making her melt.

The nickname takes her straight back to the days before the waves of the summer break washed their friendship away. The times where he’d give her a ride home from the Prudential Center after work, whispering a, “Goodnight, Mohn,” in her ear as they hugged goodbye over the centre console in the front of his car. The times she’d meet up with the team to celebrate a win at their favourite bar, and he’d throw a never-casual, “Looking good, Mohn,” her way with an appreciative once-over.

And it takes her even further back to when they had met, and she’d first offered her name.

“I’ll be interning with the content team, my name is Poppy,” she had offered a bright smile, reaching her hand out for him to shake, and making sure to keep a firm grip, just like her father had taught her, when he places his hand in hers. As she had done since she was a child, it was instinctual to follow up with, “Like the flower.”

“Mohnblume,” he had uttered, a smile so deep his cheeks dimpled into deep valleys.

“Huh?” She had been only a little bit caught out by the way his eyes shone, forgetting her manners as her head tilted to the side in confusion.

“Poppy flower, that’s what it is in my language.”

“Oh,” she had exclaimed, furrowed brows raising, a soft flush warming her cheeks, “Pretty!”

“Very.”

She had convinced herself for a long time that it was just his way of remembering - an aid in blurring the lines between the two languages that, especially back then, he often found himself mixed up in. And then, after a while, using it seemed to bring a protected familiarity between them - like an inside joke - and he’d use it less in front of others and more in the times it was just the two of them.

Years down the line from hearing it for the first time, and months down the line from hearing it for the last, her heart still thumps the same erratic beat at the sound.

Nico’s eyes still shine the same way when he looks down at her, and she fights every fibre of her being not to think too much about it. Or not to think about the touch of his hand on her arm, still holding her in place, the two of them closer than they have been in a long time, now.

It’s painfully easy to forget the months of distance after only seconds in his immediate company - to wipe from her memory the reason for her reticence and to push down the stubborn desire to push him away.

Her lips part to speak, and she doesn’t know if she’s about to turn him down or take him in, because another voice fills the apartment before any words get the chance to spill out.

“I come bearing gifts!” A sing-song lull breaks the silence as her best friend makes her presence known, entering the apartment with a drinks carrier in one hand, and a to-go back over the other wrist.

Poppy steps away, shaking Nico’s grip from her arm, and turns to give Nia her full attention, hoping that she is either too hungover or too focused on herself to see or care about the obvious tension between her and the captain. She manages to bite her tongue from letting a Thank God slip out, and makes her way over to retrieve a much needed drink.

“They were out of chai so I got you an iced tea,” Nia holds out the drink to Poppy, and then the to go bag, “And half a cinnamon roll.”

“Half?”

“What? I was hungry too.” Nia scoffs, turning her attention to the brooding presence on the other side of the room. “Sorry, Nico, I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“Would you have only eaten a third if you did?” He trials a joke, and when Poppy sneaks a peak back toward him, he looks apprehensive - scratching at the nape of his neck as if anticipating a bad reaction to his attempt at lighthearted humour.

“I’m sure Poppy doesn’t mind sharing if you’re starving,” Nia makes her way to the bar set up by the kitchen, placing her own cup down and shrugging off her purse beside it.

“I wouldn’t dream of depriving her of half a cinnamon roll.” While his words are directed to her best friend, Nico looks at Poppy with a wistful smile, and she can practically see the memory of an old shared routine wash over his eyes.

A weekly ritual of meeting by the PATH station close to both of their apartments on a free morning for a run, and then catching breakfast to go and grab a juice or a smoothie for the walk home - abandoned just like all the other little traditions they once had together.

Nico and Poppy had been close, before. Closer than she is to Jack, now - closer than she’s been to anyone else on the team, ever. So close that Nico knows her best friend enough to joke around with a familiar ease; so close that they’d even hung out as a three before, back when the girls shared an apartment in Poppy’s first year with the Devils, and he had been the only person that Nia had ever been happy to share her childhood friend with.

And now, Poppy stands between them in a silence so uncomfortable she feels like the room is shaking.

She hasn’t talked to Nico in months, and hasn’t talked about him in just as long, but she knows Nia can read her like a book.

The girls had grown up together - been through everything side by side, pinky fingers intertwined with an eternal promise of friendship and understanding. The demise of relationships, friendship group implosions, familial hardships, Nia’s goth phase, the time Poppy wrecked her hair dying it a vibrant cherry-red because her high school crush said Ariana Grande was hot - she still shudders thinking of how her hair glowed red in any direct light for years in the aftermath. Through middle school, high school, college, and all the way up until now, the pair know each other inside out.

So Poppy knows that Nia knows something happened.

Nia knows that Poppy hadn’t been able to go a day without bringing up the Swiss Captain before the summer, and then all of a sudden, she didn’t mention him at all. But she also knows her friend well enough and loves her too much not to have pressed on an open wound.

“It looks insane in here, Pop,” Nia gawks at the set up around her, every corner of the open plan layout of Jack’s large apartment decked out with decor and party amenities. “Do you guys go this hard every year?”

“Depends who’s hosting,” Nico shrugs, knowing when it had been his turn the year before, his event had been much more lowkey. Poppy had seen the pictures, had been sent an abundance of wish you were here snapchats around midnight from the Captain himself. Jack has a thing about his reputation that won’t let him even consider doing anything lowkey. “I forgot this would be your first year coming.”

“Oh, we’re not coming.” Poppy covers her mouth as she speaks around a bite of her food, unable to wait until she’d finished her mouthful due to the immediate urge to shut him down once again.

“You’re not?” He almost sounds disappointed. She doesn’t dare check for the furrow of his thick eyebrows or the pout of his lips. “Jack said he’d convinced you.”

A flash of anxiety shoots across her chest at the thought of him considering her attendance. Had he asked Jack? Had he mentioned her specifically - pushed him to convince her? Or had Jack just brought it up in an offhanded comment?

“I just agreed to get him off my back about it.” Her choice of words is only slightly intended to hurt. She and Nico were no longer friends - she hadn’t been the one to make that decision. Despite that fact, she tries to suppress the guilt clawing at the base of her throat at the wash of understanding that passes over his features. A solemn nod, gaze bouncing to the floor, lips pressed together. “We have plans with our friends.”

“Actually,” Nia’s voice captures both their attention swiftly - Poppy’s head whipping around in subtle alarm and Nico’s in anticipation. “Blake’s flight back from Arizona got cancelled, and Kelsey bailed on me last night because she got Covid of all things over Christmas.”

“What about Emma?” Poppy asks, hoping and praying their hermit friend has all of a sudden grown some stellar social skills and agreed to carry on their tradition for the sake of Poppy’s sanity.

“She double booked with her boyfriend, and he’s a huge drip I don’t really wanna hang out with those two all night.” God damn Emma and her tool of a boyfriend, Poppy thinks. “At least if we come here, we’re still close enough to your place we can make it back for fireworks on the roof.”

“We get a great view of them from this building,” Nico makes his presence known again, attempting to offer a solution. “If you didn’t want to walk back home so late.”

“See, Pop,” Nia claps her hands together with a grin, “We get to come to a cool party, don’t have to worry about creeps following us around all night, and still get to hold on to tradition. Win, win, win if you ask me!”

“Right,” Poppy sighs, knowing now that Nia has her heart set on the plan, there’s nothing she can do about it. Any persistence on her part would be too obvious. “Fine.”

“Awesome! What’s left to do?”

Poppy eyes Nico, knowing she’d told him only a few minutes ago that there was nothing left. “Just need to clear a table for the equipment Jack’s getting,”

“Which one?” Nia asks, making her way over with her iced tea in hand once Poppy points toward the table in the corner by the wall-to-wall window. “Are you helping or just standing around looking pretty?”

Nico’s cheeks flush, a subtle warmth arising to his skin, and he gives a bashful chuckle.

Poppy feels a little nauseous, and it’s not from the sickly sweet half of a pastry she’s just forced down.

Nia’s eyes flicker between the two of them like she’s at a grand slam, and her lips twist to hide a smile.

“I actually need to head out,” he says, gaze darting quickly to Poppy before turning to her best friend, “I have some things I need to do before tonight. It was good to see you, though, Nia.”

Nia hums around the straw of her drink, giving a dismissive wave. “You too, see you later!”

Nico begins towards the door to the apartment, and just before he passes Poppy, he stops. He doesn’t reach for her this time, doesn’t step too close, but she can feel his presence regardless. And every hair on her body stands to attention like she’s been shocked by static when he says, lowly, “I’ll see you tonight, Mohn.”

She can only nod in response, not trusting her voice to speak, not trusting her eyes to look into his and be able to look away.

After he departs, there are a few minutes of an ear-piercing silence. Poppy can hear every movement Nia makes, from the slurp of her drink, to the manner in which she throws things around with little care for where they end up. And louder than anything, she hears the violent thud of her heartbeat in her own ears.

“So,” Nia drags out when Poppy joins her at the almost empty table. “What the fuck was that?”

“What was what?” Poppy and Nia have known each other fifteen years, she doesn’t know why she hopelessly thought that would work.

“Don’t play dumb,” Nia scoffs, “You and Captain Sexy,”

“There is no me and Nico,”

“But you know who I’m asking about,” she scoffs like she’s caught her best friend out, and then adds, with a suggestive wiggle of her brows, “So you do think he’s sexy?”

“What are you, twelve?” Poppy rolls her eyes, “He’s the only captain we’ve been in a room with, pretty obvious who you were referring to.”

“Admit it, Poppy, I saw the two of you when I came in, you totally wanna jump his bones, you have for as long as you’ve known him.”

“We’re not having this conversation, Ni.”

“The hell we aren’t!” Nia grabs her best friend by the shoulders, “I’ve bitten my tongue for months, Pop, watching you mope around and get all glum whenever work is brought up. I couldn’t get you to shut up about the guy before, what the hell happened between you two?”

“Nothing happened!”

“It totally did!” Nia can spy the aversion Poppy is attempting from miles off. “Don’t tell me you two finally hooked up and you didn’t fill me in,”

“He has a girlfriend, Nia.”

The way Poppy says it is like a period to a sentence. End of conversation. End of speculation. It doesn’t matter what they had been before, or what they are now. It doesn’t matter what she feels. There is no her and Nico because he is someone else’s. That’s the crux of it.

“Since when?” Nia frowns.

“Since the summer just gone.”

And there it is. Understanding washes over the face of her best friend, and Poppy has to force herself to look away.

He’d maybe been with her before that, too, but Poppy doesn’t actually know the entire timeline of it.

All she does know is that he’d come back from Switzerland with a drop dead gorgeous model hanging off of his arm, and he no longer had a use for Poppy in his life.

She knows other little bits, that she’d sourced from parts of conversations with others, or potential social media sleuthing that she will never admit to even with a gun to her head.

Talia, a model from somewhere close to home back in Europe, and Nico had hit it off at some festival when he’d gone back to Switzerland for his break. He’d very quickly and very clearly become smitten with her. Poppy had seen as much with her plastered all over his private stories and even posted on his private instagram feed.

By the time he came back to New Jersey for pre-season training camp, she was tagging along to team gatherings, he’d take her on his morning runs, grabbing breakfast together, he’d pick her up every day after work so he could no longer drive Poppy home, not that he’d ever attempted to explain any of that to her. She was at every home game, was his plus one to every event, and Poppy and Nico’s friendship had fizzled out so much that she sometimes feels like the whole thing had been a fantasy, or a figment of her imagination. Something she’d misunderstood, miscalculating every interaction they had ever shared and assuming they meant the same to him as they did to her.

They didn’t.

She doesn’t think any of it would have hurt her so much if he’d have let her down easy. A sorry for bailing on you the first time she’d text him if he wanted to meet up for their weekly run and he’d left her on read would have lessened the blow. He could have been straight up with an I just want to focus on my relationship right now. That would have been the decent thing to do, but he’d just dropped her, instead. Didn’t come around her office for lunch, didn’t text her after training when one of the guys said something stupid and he thought it might make her laugh. He’d cut her off from the intimate parts of his life - ghosted her, even - and all she could find it in herself to do anymore was miss him.

She’d made attempts to bring him around, at first. Tried speaking to him at work, tried texting, but after a few weeks of staring at the delivered sign at the bottom of their message thread, she had given up. It still taunts her every time she opens it up to delete the entire thing and move on like he clearly has - erasing all the inside jokes and times they had confided in one another like they meant ever meant anything in the first place.

She can count on her hand the amount of times they had spoken since the summer. Work related, entirely. A good game here and a have you seen whoever? there. Today is the first indication in months that they had ever been anything more than two people who worked in the same organisation. Friends of friends, co-workers, barely acquaintances.

Not people who know each other’s favourite holidays and are chummy with each other’s friends.

“I’m sorry, Poppy,” Nia frowns, “I didn’t know.”

“Doesn’t matter,” she shrugs, attempting nonchalance despite the stinging in the back of her throat. “Let’s finish here so we can go get ready.”

Nico

Nico Hischier isn’t the biggest fan of New Years Eve. He isn’t really a fan of the festive period, at all. He isn’t a scrooge by any means. He can appreciate the coming together of people and the celebration of the year just gone, and the one starting fresh - but ever since he moved from Switzerland and started his career in the NHL, the holiday period has felt unnecessarily long.

His schedule is jam packed - games up until the 23rd, starting again after Christmas on the 27th, and again after New Years on the 3rd - and there aren’t enough consecutive days together to celebrate in the way others get to do this time of year.

He knows he has to make do with the fact - a small price to pay for living his dream - and his teammates help, all sharing in their sacrifices and trying to make the best out of a bad deal. But he can’t help but feel a lack. A lack of tradition, a lack of family being around, a lack of normalcy.

He remembers the holidays as a child, spending time at home with his parents and his siblings, having two weeks at home for his winter break and getting to spend his days doing whatever he pleased. As someone who moved overseas at such a young age, he looks back on those times fondly.

But now, living at least 8 hours away from the rest of his family, this time of year only serves to remind him of the isolation that creeps up on him like a bad cold.

It starts at the beginning of the month, the sniffly nose period of the bug, when chatter starts around who’s doing what for Christmas. Decorations go up, parties are planned, names are passed around in a hat for Secret Santa, and discussions begin around who is managing to go where.

Next comes the tickle in his throat - the last game before Christmas, where the team all depart and separate with temporary goodbyes as those who have family nearby all get to go home - their parents arranging home cooked extravaganza meals, reuniting with their siblings, exchanging gifts - and Nico, for the 5th year running, feels like a bit part in someone else’s festivities as he and a few of the other European guys all bustle into the dining room of whoever is willing to accommodate them for the day.

Then comes the rest, the sneezing, the coughing, the lethargy, in the period between Christmas and New Years, when everyone is reeling off the back of their celebrations and looking forward to ringing in the next year with a big party.

Nico had thought this year might have been better. He had been in a relationship, there were parts of the holidays he could tweak and adopt into his circumstances - exchanging gifts with a loved one, bringing her along to Christmas dinner at Jesper and Nicole’s place, and not having to feel like a third wheel or like he had to shrink to fit at the kiddie’s table.

He’d even tried to start his own holiday traditions with Talia, his girlfriend. He’d booked an overnight stay at a fancy hotel on the Upper East Side in the middle in the month on one of the rare occasions he’d had two consecutive days with no game or other commitments - despite how hectic his schedule had been. He’d taken her Christmas shopping down Fifth Avenue like she’d talked so much about how she’d wanted to do ever since she came out to New Jersey with him after the summer. He’d taken her ice skating, away from the Rock so that it didn’t feel like work, they had bought and decorated the tree in his apartment together, he’d brought her along to every team holiday event.

And on the day of their home game against Anaheim on the 17th, just a few days after their trip into Manhattan, in the middle of the third period, she had unceremoniously dumped him with an I’m just not feeling this anymore. Over text. As she was already at the airport preparing to fly back to Munich to spend the holidays with her family. He had slumped into his locker after their brutal 5-1 defeat and couldn’t believe what he was reading.

Nico wanted to be angry. As he read the text, he could picture any other person throwing and smashing things. Calling her up and demanding an explanation - because it was clear she hadn’t been feeling it for longer than she let on, considering she was about to board a no doubt fully booked flight across the Atlantic in the eleventh hour.

But there was too large of a part of him that just felt relieved.

Talia was great.

He had met her properly in the summer when he had gone home to Switzerland, but they’d had mutual friends long before. He’d liked a couple of her instagram pictures here, she had responded to a few of his stories there, and then they had been formally introduced at a friend’s party.

Things with her were easy, at first. Nico wasn’t looking for anything serious, and she had ticked all of the right boxes. She was good company, always down to do whatever he was doing with whoever he wanted to do it with. She recognised that summer was the only time of the year he truly had to himself, and she let him take the reins on how he wanted to spend it.

She would go on hikes with him, would lounge around in the sun if wanted, go to parties, go to festivals, join him on little weekend trips to Ibiza or Mallorca. And she was a great release when his training had picked up. She would work around his schedule. He’d invite her round to his apartment and he had enjoyed spending time doing nothing with her after a long day at the gym or at the rink.

She had slotted so perfectly into that version of his life that he gave very little thought into inviting her into the rest of it.

She was beautiful, sociable, charismatic - and then she became hard work.

When summer was over, and he invited her to spend some time back in New Jersey, she didn’t quite grasp how much things would need to change. She constantly wanted to have plans. Wanted to go to parties, wanted to go out, be around other people, take little trips - and he had tried to accommodate her the best he could, but he didn’t have the time for himself, let alone for another person, to be doing things all the time. He had tried to tell her as much, and she said she was okay with it, said as long as he was present with her, she could settle for not doing the things they had in the summer, but she expected too much from him.

She wanted Nico’s attention at all hours of the day, weaving herself into every aspect of his routine. He wanted to run? She would go with him, could really use the fresh air. He wanted to do some solo training at the gym? She had been meaning to work on her lifting. He couldn’t go to the grocery store - could barely even go to work without her wanting to be there. His phone would blow up whenever they were apart, and if he didn’t text her back straight away, she’d become cold - making him feel guilty and grovel for her forgiveness.

Talia was fun, until she wasn’t. Until she was exhausting, and Nico couldn’t keep up with her any longer.

She didn’t give him the grace to have an off day. He was tired, he was struggling, and when the season kicked into full swing, and the team’s schedule was packed, he became unable to juggle it all.

His work was suffering, his star was dimming, his body ached and his performance dipped - both in his professional and personal life.

And so, after the detonation of their relationship, a break up text felt a little like a wake up call.

Talia had contributed so much to the deterioration of normalcy in his life, that Nico was still trying to piece back together his routine 2 weeks later.

His holiday period this year had been spent in a haze - and it wasn’t for the reason everyone thought. He had caught the pitiful glances sent his way over the dinner table at Christmas, had seen the way the couples in the room tried to spare him of their PDA whenever he was around, and he could have told them it was okay. He was okay. But there was a large part of him that was trying to figure that out, still.

He had known he wasn’t heartbroken. He wasn’t shooting off texts to Talia and begging for her to come back. He’d already boxed up what little belongings she had left behind and was going to ship them internationally after the New Year had passed. He had deleted, not archived, all their photos on his private socials, and had even deleted most of them from his phone. He wasn’t in pieces over the fact she had ended things.

But he knew something still wasn’t right.

At first, he had thought it was work related. Their worst week of the season had happened just before Christmas - 3 losses at home in the span of 5 days - and he thought that could be the reason for his slump. Then, they won against Detroit and he still felt off.

Then, he thought he had been anxious about Christmas - about showing up on his own, having to explain his breakup to everyone not quite caught up on the news yet, and he would have to wallow in that same old feeling of watching everyone else enjoy the holidays. But Jesper and Nicole had thrown together a pretty nice day for the guys. The food was great, the company was great, and he’d gone back to his apartment that night with a feeling of relief - like he’d been dreading something for so long only for him to have genuinely enjoyed himself.

And finally, as if being thrust into a freezing cold ice bath, realisation had washed over him on the morning of the team’s final home game of the year against Columbus.

He had been walking through the back offices of the Prudential Centre when he had stumbled upon a conversation, and had heard Poppy Jensen’s voice for the first time in what felt like forever.

“I’m just kinda beat, to be honest, J,” she had said in response to a question Nico hadn’t caught. He had thought no one would be around, most of the Foundation staff having the week off, and hadn’t expected to come across anyone on his venture to the best vending machine in the building. The Foundation offices were often frequented by kids, and had an assortment of candies throughout their machines instead of the protein bars or rice cakes elsewhere in the staff areas. At the sound of her voice, he had come to an immediate halt, peaking around the corner where he could see into her office. She was moving some things into a box on her desk and Jack Hughes was reclining in the chair in front of it that once had been claimed by Nico as his own. “I’m all social interaction-ed out, the holidays have kinda beat me to a pulp, I don’t think I could keep up with you guys, I’m sorry.”

Nico watches as she swats at his feet when he tries to kick them up onto her desk, and can’t quite see the crease between her brows as she frowns at their mutual friend, but can remember how it used to form all the same. “You’re such a bullshitter,” Jack had scoffed, clearly pre-empting the stapler Poppy would throw at him, managing to catch it with ease.

“You can’t call me a bullshitter in my own office,” she gawked, “You don’t see me marching out onto the ice and calling you an attention whore.”

Jack had thrown the stapler straight back. She caught it all the same, and dropped it into the box.

“You haven’t hung out with us in forever!”

“We hung out at the Toy Drive like 2 weeks ago!” There had been two toy drive events organised by the Foundation in different parts of town, and, as he had long become accustomed to, Nico had been put on the one separate to the event Poppy was working. It had been fun, but when he’d checked the social posts the next day and seen the pictures posted of the other team - all smiles between them, a slightly blurry Poppy in the near background of all of Jack’s pictures to indicate how close they had been throughout the event - he had felt like he’d missed out on something.

“That was work, it doesn’t count, Popsicle.” Nico could hear the roll of Jack’s eyes.

“Yeah, well some of us don’t consider helping underprivileged children and spreading Christmas spirit ‘work’, Jack.” Poppy had used air quotes to emphasise her sarcasm, and a fond warmth had spread throughout Nico’s chest at hearing her hold her own against someone as brazenly wise as Jack Hughes. “I thought we were hanging out, having fun, improving our community together. You should really check your ego!”

“I sh-,” Jack had managed to cut himself off, no doubt realising how loud he had gotten. “You’re the one who’s been avoiding the whole team all year, ‘cause you’re hung up on-,”

The door to Poppy’s office had slammed closed before Nico had a chance to hear the end of his teammate’s sentence. Their voices had been muffled after that, and shame had started to creep up on Nico at the fact he’d been eavesdropping on a private conversation.

He’d foregone the snacks he originally snuck off in search of, and returned back to the locker room to get ready for his practice skate.

For the first time in a long time, when Jack arrived and threw himself down on the bench beside him, Nico had wanted him to bring her up.

In the months prior, he would freeze up at the mention of Poppy Jensen, not wanting to face the reality of his dwindling connection to someone who had once been such a huge part of his life. He had other focuses - namely, Talia - and reflecting on what had once been between the two of them did not serve any kind of good purpose. It opened him up to uncomfortable conversations that he wasn’t willing to have, uncomfortable realisations he couldn’t quite come to terms with, and he had been too comfortable avoiding any kind of confrontation around it.

But in the short time between witnessing the conversation between Jack and Poppy, and getting ready for the team’s morning practice, too many questions had been swirling around his mind, and he needed answers.

Why was Poppy packing up her desk?

Why was she avoiding hanging out with the team?

What was she so hung up on? Had something happened?

He’d spent so long avoiding even thinking about her, that he all of a sudden felt like he’d missed everything.

Luckily for him, Jack Hughes needed little to no prompting for his blabbermouth nature to prevail.

“You know, for someone who’s literal job it is to lead us as a Captain, you’ve done terribly at warning me just how stressful this whole New Years thing is,” Jack had huffed as he began changing into his practice gear.

“I did nothing but warn you,” Nico responded, “You called me Mr Grumpy Pants and told me I was just afraid your party was gonna be better than mine.”

“Yeah, well, you should have insisted, it’s stressing me out.”

“You’ll be fine,” Nico scoffed, running a hand through the mess of his hair and leaning back into his locker. He watched Jack’s jittery movements as he shrugged on his pads, and felt the need to reassure his friend. “Everyone’s looking forward to it. As long as there’s plenty to drink and decent music, people will have a good time.”

“Not everyone,” Jack grumbled, “I can’t even get Poppy to come and she loves parties.”

So that’s what they had been talking about.

Poppy did love parties, but Nico couldn’t remember the last time he had seen her at one.

“Poppy has a New Years ritual, she didn’t come to mine, either, I wouldn’t beat yourself up about it.” Nico shrugged, despite the wave of a memory that washed over him of him doing exactly that when she hadn’t showed up last year. He’d had to restrain himself from leaving his own party - spent the night texting her updates on what everyone had been doing, snap-chatting her pictures in the hopes it would entice her the few blocks over from her apartment building. He’d only been consoled by the text he’d received just after the clock had struck midnight, settling for the pride in knowing he had been one of the first to get a Happy New Years message from her - knowing it wasn’t just a mass text she would have copy-and-pasted to everyone else, and had been personalised to him with a bunch of perfectly curated emojis and exclamation marks after his name.

Nico didn’t see Jack’s stiffened posture at the way he had so nonchalantly mentioned her for the first time in forever. Didn’t see the side eye, or the pensive twist of his mouth as he carefully considered his next words like he was about to step through a minefield.

“I’m gonna keep trying,” he had sat back down on the bench beside Nico to put on his skates, “I’m definitely her favourite, she’s been helping me organise the whole thing, I don’t think it will take much to convince her.”

Nico tried not to show any kind of reaction to Jack being Poppy’s favourite, or at the thought of how much time they must be spending together to organise such an event. A part of him knew he was only saying it to rattle him. “Cutting it a little fine, aren’t you? New Years is in a couple days, and the guys from the Foundation aren’t even around this week, are they?”

“She’s covering someone on content until January, I said I’d drive her home after the game and me and Lukey can double down on it. And if we can’t get it done tonight, she’s coming on the road with us at the end of the week. I’ve got plenty of time.”

“Oh,” Nico was thankful for how Jack had leaned over to tie his skates up, because he wasn’t entirely sure he’d been able to mask whatever had flooded over him at the revelation that his teammate would be driving Poppy home.

That was his thing. He was pretty sure his passenger seat was still positioned to her liking despite how long it had been since she’d sat in it. He was still working his way through the stash of smiley face air fresheners she had stashed in his glove compartment. He still felt like he was forgetting something every time he left the parking lot and she wasn’t sat beside him, chatting his ear off about some of the kids she had worked with in the day.

“Maybe you should ask her?”

Nico’s eyes shot over to meet Jack’s in alarm. “Me?”

“Yeah, the more people that ask, the more she might feel like she’s missing out. Flash her those cute dimples, how could she possibly say no?”

“I think I’m the last person that’s gonna convince Poppy to come, Jack.” Nico had tried to be nonchalant about it, but he had come across so painfully uncomfortable that he could feel the hair on his arms stand, not liking the ache that spread through his chest at the statement.

There was once upon a time that cheering Poppy Jensen up had been a large part of his routine. Even small acts, like bringing her a coffee on a busy day, where he knew she wouldn’t take a break to go get one herself, and knew how much she disliked the stuff from the pot in her office. Sending her texts from across the room when there were big organisation meetings and he could see her chewing at her fingernails at the vast amounts of information being spewed about. Tagging her in cute animal videos he’d come across on TikTok when he was across the country on a roadie and on a different timezone - she’d wake up to them sometimes, and he’d wake up to her response.

“Right, I forgot you two aren’t friends anymore.”

“Is that what she said?” Nico had swallowed down the hurt at the thought of her coming to that conclusion - vocalising it to someone and finalising the decision before he had any chance to do anything about it.

He couldn’t really blame her, though - he’d had plenty of chances.

Nico could feel himself beginning to spiral, words swirling around his head like a tornado of realisation and guilt.

Aren’t friends anymore.

Avoiding the whole team all year.

Jack is driving her home.

He’s her favourite.

Aren’t friends anymore.

Shit.

He didn’t even take in Jack’s response to his question. As much as he wanted to know the answer, he couldn’t bear to hear it.

Nico couldn’t face up to what he had truly lost.

It wasn’t his girlfriend of five months, who had dumped him over text during the most wonderful time of the year. It wasn’t a few games, that, sure, it had sucked that they had been beat, but in retrospect, the team had had a pretty decent start to the season, and shouldn’t have had his back up that much.

Nico had lost someone who had, at one point, been the most important person in his life.

The person he would usually have gone to to help him through the other stuff - the breakups, the losses, the stress, the anxiety - the crushing weight that had been pressing down on his chest since he had left for Switzerland at the beginning of summer.

Nico and Poppy used to work around each other like a beautifully choreographed, well-rehearsed dance. She always knew when he was overwhelmed or exhausted, he always knew when she was stressed or upset, and they both knew how to pick the other back up.

They hadn’t even fallen out of sync when they’d stopped talking to each other, only this time, they were moving around each other. If Nico entered a room, Poppy would leave. If she knew he was going to be at a team party, she’d make up an excuse not to go. If someone mentioned Poppy in casual conversation, Nico would quickly change the subject. All of it had been subconscious, on his part, at least.

It had been so easy after such a prolonged distance between the two of them to move when she pushed, to watch when she ran, like he had grown into his part in their relationship akin to repelling magnets, always moving away from one another.

It had been so easy that he hadn’t even really realised what was happening - lost and handicapped by a thick fog clouding his thoughts and his judgement. He’d let their once blooming friendship wither and die, and for what?

As he had watched Jack waddle out of the locker room for their practice session, muttering a dismissive, “Whatever, I’ll figure it out,” to his Captain, it was like he had been awakened into full consciousness.

Nico had thought that his turmoil had started with the holiday period. Had thought the ache of homesickness had swirled in with the grief that came with the loss of his relationship, and the shame his poor performances on the ice had thrown upon him. But it had started long before that. He hadn’t been himself since he’d returned from his summer break. Before that, even.

Without realising that he had lost her, Nico had spent the last few months subconsciously mourning his friendship with Poppy - the crushing weight of that grief consuming him to a point that he felt lost with no way out, and had expressed it in a bunch of misguided ways.

He reached into his bag to retrieve where he had stashed his cellphone, scrolling through his Messages app until he stumbled across Poppy’s name. The last text had been sent in September, by her, and he had never responded - had never even opened it, the blue dot to the left of their message thread taunting him with chirps of how awful he had been to ignore it.

Poppy: Hey, can we talk? I miss you.

How late is too late to reply to a text like that? He could only hope she still felt the same way.

Turns out, 4 months might be too late.

Nico has drafted an embarrassing amount of messages to Poppy over the days since that conversation in the locker room.

His notes app has a whole folder dedicated to her. Bullet pointed lists, random memories that made him think of her, structured essays that laid out a timeline of their friendship, and all the mistakes he would need to beg for her forgiveness for.

He’d tried sending a message when he had got back to his apartment after the game against Columbus, feeling a rush of confidence from the adrenaline of their OT win, his high had soon dwindled when he was alone. He sat staring at all the different iterations of an apology he could offer, and had even chickened out of the final draft of a very simple but hopefully effective, ‘Hey.’

He knew he was overthinking it. A conversation starter would at the very least open the door for the apology, and all he needed to do was talk to her in some way - but that turned out to be easier said than done.

She wasn’t in her office when he’d gone to seek her out at work the next day, and when he realised she was probably in the content and media offices, he felt like he would be cornering her if he sought her out in front of anyone else. When the weight of how far removed they now were from each other’s lives dawned on him, a text felt too informal, and so the paragraphs sat untouched in his notes. The weather hadn’t been too great, so he couldn’t try and intercept her on the running route he knew all too well, and even attempting to orchestrate a seemingly random encounter outside of work seemed too creepy so stopping by the cafe around the corner from her apartment in the hopes she’d be there grabbing a latte was off the cards.

He’d seen her on the plane to Ottawa, having to pass her seat to get to the team section at the back, but he had a few people boarding behind him, and she had her eyes cast toward her cell, headphones on and typing intently to somebody, he couldn’t even offer her a friendly smile to try and warm her up to the possibility of a conversation.

Between their win against the Senators, and their loss against the Bruins the next day, there wasn’t much time, or energy, really, to seek her out, and so he’d had to press the breaks, but as they flew back to New Jersey from Boston, a panic had started to swirl within his chest.

Nico knew he couldn’t enter a new year without clearing the air, and so time was well and truly running out. He again had seen her on the plane, and when he had plucked up the courage to get up and go sit with her, Jack had beaten him to it. When the plane had landed, and the team bus had driven them all back to the Rock, the Hughes brothers had both walked her to her car to see her off for the evening.

For someone who had been not-so-subtly trying to initiate a reunion between Nico and Poppy for so long, Jack Hughes sure knew how to get in the way. But, he was easy to forgive - especially when Nico had woken up to his texts late this morning.

Jack: need ur help

Jack: urgently

Jack: wake up dude

Nico: I’m not driving anywhere for you

Jack: not asking u to

Jack: u will like this I promise 😌

Nico: what do you want?

Jack: need u to keep Poppy company

Jack: she’s in my apartment and she seemed off when she got here

Jack: been on her own for a few hours

Jack: so she’s grumpy 👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻 👹👹

Nico: doubt I can change the grumpy part

Nico: especially if you’ve left her alone for hours

Jack: don’t need to

Jack: ur a grump too

Jack: will cancel each other out 👍🏻👍🏻😇😇

Jack: u going down or no?

Nico: fine

Jack: I’ll be back in 1 hr :)

Jack: love u cap 😚

Nico: 🙄

And that was how Nico had found himself trudging down to Jack’s apartment, hopeful at the dream of a bridged gap between him and Poppy, and quickly disappointed by the reality.

She had been cold, rightfully so, and had made it clear as day she didn’t want anything to do with him. She had shrunk into herself, backing away from him any time he got too close, defecting to a state of avoidance - gaze dropping to the floor, declining his offers to help her, making assumptions she was in his way, as if the thought of him seeking her out had become an entirely alien concept.

He couldn’t blame her for how she was being with him. It had been his fault things had collapsed between them - he’d come to that conclusion with the vast amounts of evidence piled up in his phone storage the past couple of days, but it didn’t make it hurt any less to see her like this - or to feel an actual, tangible resistance when he had tried to insist on being around. She didn’t want him around, that much was obvious, and it was starting to feel like it was to late to fix what he had so royally screwed up between the two of them.

The once well-oiled machine that was their friendship was now clunky, clattering, dying a slow death with parts that were now obsolete.

But that didn’t change how much he wanted it to work. His parents had once told him when he was growing up that nothing was beyond repair, and if he wanted something fixed enough, he would figure out a way.

They had been talking about a model train he, his father and his brother had made when he was very young. The company that made the sets had gone bust, and they no longer sold the individual parts anymore - so when his sister had stumbled over something in the garage back home, knocked a box, and the once pristine collectable train had tumbled out and ended up cracked and chipped, he had been heartbroken. He and Nina had filled in the chips with wood filler, and touched it up with her nail polish, and it wasn’t the same but in a way it was better - a new sentiment attached with a memory of bonding with his sibling.

The same thing could apply to his friendship with Poppy. Maybe they couldn’t go back to what they were - maybe they could be better.

And, when Poppy had made one too many attempts to push him away - when he had taken a hold of her after she had tried to move past him, dismissing him and his desire to help her, once again - a fire reignited within him. A spark of hope flickered at the familiarity that had flashed across her face as he referred to her in an endearment he hadn’t let himself use in so long.

In that moment - hand wrapped around her arm, just above her elbow, the skin soft and warm, close enough to smell the all too familiar cloud of vanilla-coconut scent that followed her, and her eyes locked on his - he had seen a crack in her armour.

He had seen an element of want - wanting to reconcile, wanting to fix things, wanting him in her life in the way he had been those months ago - and in a mirror of his own emotions, he had seen trepidation.

They wanted the same things, had the same fears, had the same end goal.

And when the unforeseen interruption of her best friend arriving startled her back into her withdrawn persona, he had realised something else.

Nia’s contrasting attitude toward Nico - open, friendly, familiar - had opened his eyes to the fact that Poppy hadn’t told her best friend about the demise of her friendship with Nico.

And that, as much as it needed unpacking entirely, was Nico’s backdoor entry into the high security vault of Poppy’s good graces.

Thankfully for him, Nia’s obliviousness to their tension had worked entirely in his favour. He tried not to look too much into Poppy’s attempted avoidance of spending the evening in his presence, despite her other plans falling apart. Tried to shoulder the blows of her sly digs at them not being friends anymore. Tried to ignore the pang in his heart at Poppy’s best friend being the one to throw flirty jibes his way, and not her.

A determination had begun to brew within him - swirling, bubbling, steaming - and it was going to push him to finally bridge the gap he had forced between them.

His first success was her agreeing to come to the party, and he could easily build on that momentum.

Nico and Poppy were going to be friends again by midnight, he would figure out a way.

> Chapter One

#nico hischier #Nico Hischier x reader #Nico Hischier fanfiction #nhl fanfiction #nhl imagines #Nico Hischier imagine #anyways #if you do by happenstance read all these tags #we need to have a conversation about people as colours #I would have ranted about this in my an but honestly I think I went on enough #nico is green I won't budge on this because I am also green and he is mine #like if your fav colour is green you know what I mean it becomes your entire existence #but also every time I write him in an outfit its like khaki olive vibes #he's just an earthy toned fella #no one can change my mind #I call this phenomenon hot guy synesthesia I'm writing a thesis on it you've just read it #anyways I'm gonna publish this and run for the hills #*writing #*oys

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musings-of-a-rose · 7 months ago

Text

Jump Then Fall - Chapter 4

Pairing: Javier Peña x ofc “Vanessa Morales”

Word Count: 5000

Rating: M for mature - 18+ only!

Warnings: Please be aware there is an 11 year age gap. Mature themes and some canon mentioned. Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story.

Notes: Well, we've finally reached the end! I'm so sorry this took forever to get out. I really do love these 2 and would welcome any asks about them! When the story starts, Vanessa is 19 and Javier is 30 but in this part, Javier is 36 and Vanessa is 25.

**Shoutout to @vanemando15 for listening and bouncing ideas from me, and for her guidance with being a Latina herself. Without her, this wouldn’t even be a thing, just another line on my WIP spreadsheet. And also to my husband, who is also Latino and answered any questions I had (along with taking me to Colombia back in 2014). And to @wyn-n-tonic, who listened to my rambles and insecurities about writing an oc in first person.

**If you want to be added to the taglist, join here or let me know!

--If you like this, please let the algorithm know by reblogging! This way it can be shared with multiple people (it's how it works here. I don't make the rules!)

❤If you enjoy the fic, please consider giving me a warm beverage! (It is not required in any way!)

Jump Then Fall Masterlist

General Masterlist

Javier Peña Masterlist

<<Chapter 3<<

I don't see him until lunch the next day as he and Chucho had run into town for a few things. They both come in with some grocery bags and set them on the counter.

"They were out of broccoli so I got green beans. Will that work?" Chucho asks as he hands me a bag of fresh cut green beans.

I take them with a smirk. "Why do I get the feeling they weren't out and you just didn't want to eat the broccoli?"

"She's got you there, pops." Javier chuckles as Chucho punches his arm.

"Pendejo."

"Alright, alright. Get cleaned up and I'll make you both some lunch. Extra broccoli for you, old man."

Chucho hides a smile, grumbling as he heads upstairs to his bathroom. Javier stays in the kitchen with me, helping to unload the bags.

"New relaxation thing?" I raise my eyebrows at him.

"What?"

I gesture towards his mouth. "The chewing gum."

"Oh. Nope. Giving up the other one. I'm trying the Nicorette thing."

I close the refrigerator door and look at him. "Really?"

He shrugs. "It's a nasty habit, or so I'm told."

I turn away from him quickly, trying to hide the warmth creeping up at face at his use of my words.

"Well that person must be very smart to say that."

"I think so."

-------

I don't find the time to tell him the next day. Or the next. Or the next. Despite having a lot of chances to. Javier always finds his way to me around the house, chatting and asking me questions. I try to ask him some too, but his eyes grow dark and distant and he shuts in on himself, no doubt recalling the horrors of his time pursuing Escobar. I stop asking.

"Vanessa! We have to go or we'll be late to Danny's wedding!" Chucho yells up the stairs at me, just as I'm putting on my mascara.

"I'll be right down!" I take one last look at myself in the mirror, smoothing down my dress. It was bold, for me anyway. Spaghetti straps and a form fitting dress that stops just above my knee, a lacy slip over top of it all that's long sleeved. It's a dark green color, always one of my favorites. I'm not sure it's entirely wedding appropriate, but it's the only thing that I liked that fit me decent enough. My hair is down and loosely curled and I turn my head back and forth to make sure the bounce had stayed.

I grab my clutch and head downstairs. Chucho stands at the foot of the stairs, smiling at me.

"You look beautiful, Vanessa."

"You're just saying that so I won't make broccoli next week."

He chuckles and gives me a hug. "You caught me. Oh, when's Alex back?"

"Next week."

"Pops, we have to get going or we'll..." Javier comes walking back inside the front door, red flannel shirt tucked into tight jeans that hug his body in all the right ways. He stares at me, his eyes moving up and down my body until Chucho elbows him in the stomach.

"Fuck! You uh..you look uh nice, Vanessa."

"Nice?" Chucho says, chuckling in disbelief. "I thought you knew how to talk to women." He heads out the door, leaving Javier and I standing in the entry.

"You look really..handsome." I manage to choke out at Javier. "Now come on. Your dad will kill us if we're late."

I move to hop in the truck and then realize the stick shift will need to be right between my legs if I wanted to ride in the front.

"I'll get in the back," Javier speaks into my ear.

"No you won't. The bed is dirty and I will not have my son walking into church covered in-"

Javier puts his hands up. "Ok, ok. We'll figure it out."

I get in, taking Javier's offered hand to help me up into the cab. I slide across the bench, looking down at the gear shift as Javier slides in next to me. I try to move my legs but there's nowhere for them to move to.

"Tuck them next to my leg." I look up at Javier, the closest I've been to him since that night.

"Are you s-sure?"

"Yeah. I won't bite." I swear he mumbles "Unless you want me to" under his breath but maybe I'm projecting.

We make it to the church on time. Well, early actually as Chucho wanted "a good seat." We get out of the truck and to my surprise, Javier offers me his arm again. I take it, using him to help me out of the cab, smoothing down my dress when I finally plant my feet on the ground. But he doesn't let go, doesn't drop my arm, letting me choose if I wanted to hold onto him or not. I link my arm further in his, noting the small smile he's fighting to contain on his face.

I am very glad I chose to hold onto him. Not just because his touch is electrifying my body, but because the ground in the dirt parking lot is very uneven, the last rainstorm having put in several large potholes and what feels like millions of smaller ones. Javier saved me from falling right in the mud more than a few times. When we finally make it to the pavement, he still doesn't drop my arm, looking down at me with raised eyebrows, silently asking me what I'd like to do.

"Oh no. I'm attached now. If you let me go, I'll fall on my butt I know it."

He chuckles and covers my hand with his large one, engulfing mine. "I got you, baby."

We say our hello's to everyone as we enter and I feel Javier tense next to me at the amount of attention he's starting to receive. Many people wanting to shake his hand and tell them how proud they are of him, that he's a hero. He smiles, although it doesn't reach his eyes, and thanks them, shaking their hands with his free one. This happens several times on our way to the pew Chucho wanted and after the third time, I place my free hand over his, giving it a light squeeze. I can feel him relax into me slightly as the man in front of us thanks him yet again. But as the next person approaches, I cut them off.

"Juan, it's so nice to see you, but we need to sit. These shoes weren't made for real feet," I chuckle and nod my head towards my feet. "I swear if Javier weren't escorting me I'd be taking these things off or fallen on my rear end by now."

"Oh! Yeah go sit. See you later, Javs!"

We finally make it to our row and Javier gestures for me to go ahead. I make my way in, sitting down as Javier slides in next to me.

"Hey, thanks." He speaks quietly so only I can hear him.

"Yeah of course. Anytime."

Shortly after, the ceremony starts and Javier places his arm across the pew behind me and I will myself to not blush and just pretend like I'm focusing on the sermon, the priest now saying something about love and devotion in marriage or..something. I have no clue as I feel Javier stretch a little and slide a little closer to me in the pew, our hips almost touching.

The reception was beautiful, music starting up a bit later while everyone was eating. We finish eating and Javier turns to me, mischief in his eyes.

"Dance with me?" His hand is outstretched towards me and I take it without hesitation.

"Do you know how?" I ask as he pulls me to my feet.

"Do you?"

"Fair question."

He escorts me onto the dance floor, placing his hand confidently on my hip, the other taking my hand. The music starts and he spins us around, our feet moving together to the beat. His eyes are on me and mine on his, the air between us igniting with something that we felt 6 years ago.

That realization jolts me back to the present and I move my head next to his, looking over his shoulder. I really need to tell him. I catch sight of a blonde woman, about Javier's age, giving me a really nasty look. But then the songs ends and Javier pulls back.

"Thirsty?"

"Yeah."

We head back to the table and sit, several more people coming up to shake Javier's hand and tell him how proud they were, that he's a hero, all of it. I can see that far away look in his eyes, like he's here but not here. His eyes lock on something across the room and he leans towards Chucho and me.

"I'll be right back."

I watch him walk across the room towards the blonde woman who had given me such a nasty look earlier.

"Who is that?" I lean over to Chucho, nodding towards them. He glances up before looking back down at his plate of food.

"Lorraine. His ex."

"Oh. They serious?"

He takes a bite of his food and chews. "They were. But that was maybe 10 years ago?"

"Hhm.. how serious?"

"Well, they were going to get married."

"Oh."

Chucho looks at me and leans in. "He left her though. The day of."

"The day of...the wedding??"

"Not one of his best moments. But he was young and scared. And stupid."

I look over at them, a man now walking up to them and putting his arm around Lorraine.

"Well she seems to have done alright."

"Yeah. Married some banker or real estate guy or something. Seems happy. Couple of kids."

"Should you have told me this?"

Chucho gestures around at the room. "Everyone here was there that day. They all know. It's not a secret."

I nod, turning to look back at them when I see Javier turn, his hand doing that thing where it opens and closes, his bottom lip worrying slightly into his teeth. He stops a few steps away from Lorraine and looks back, watching as she picks up her kids and animatedly talks to them. When he turns back around, his face is full of regret and want, but I don't know if it's about her or the kids, his almost family. He walks through the room and out the back door.

"I'll be right back."

I get up and cross the room, heading out the door Javier did. I look around and see him sitting on a bench under a tree several feet out from the reception room. He pulls out some gum from his pocket and stuffs it in his mouth, his jaw chewing furiously. I walk up to him and he looks up at me, his eyes sad.

"Can I sit?" I ask, gesturing to the space next to him on the bench. He nods at the space, leaning back to put his arm across the back of the bench behind me.

"Thank you," I say to him after several moments.

He looks at me. "For what?"

"For...everything. I know you must have had to do some things you aren't proud of in order to catch a very bad man. I can't imagine how that must weigh on you, make you feel like you don't deserve praise. But you worked so hard and they took that ending away from you which was, excuse my language, very fucked up of them and you didn't deserve that no matter what you did, and I just....thank you."

His eyes bore into mine, shifting emotions behind them. Anger, regret, fear, disappointment in himself, disbelief, but then something else. Something softer as he focuses on me. His hand comes up to cup my face and I lean into it, loving the feel of his calloused hands on my skin. He leans in towards me, his eyes shifting down to my lips, his breath fanning out over my face.

"Wait. I have to tell you something, Javier."

"Can you tell me after we make out?"

Can I? No. No, Vanessa.

"I really think I need to tell you first."

He pulls back and it looks like it costs him a ton of effort, just like it did me to tell him to stop. He puts his hand on his lap and watches me, waiting for me to continue.

"Do you remember when I told you that Alex's dad had important things to do? And you thought he was giving me a line?"

He nods. "Yeah..."

"What if...what if that were you?"

He furrows his eyebrows together, confused. "If what were me?"

"If you had gone off to Colombia or were going off and you found out you'd gotten some girl pregnant?"

"I would have come home or not gone."

"Yeah, but wouldn't you resent them just a little for robbing you of this opportunity?"

He scoffs. "They would've saved me a lot of shit."

"You know that now. But then?"

He thinks for a moment. "I don't know. I can't say I wouldn't have been disappointed."

"Don't you think your kid would pick up on that?"

"I...I don't know. I didn't consider....Vanessa?"

I swallow down the tears that are fighting to escape my body. "Yeah?"

"How old is Alex?"

I take a deep breath and look him in the eyes. "6."

It takes him a few moments, probably doing the math in his head. But then his eyes widen and he pulls his arm from around me, scooting back a little.

"6?"

"Yeah."

He shifts on the bench. "Is he...who's his dad?"

I can't help the one tear that falls from my eyes. "Y-you are."

He looks at me before abruptly standing, pacing back and forth, his hand on his hip and the other pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I'm his dad? Me? Are you sure?"

"I've only ever been with you."

He scoffs. "It's been 6 years, Vanessa. You haven't fucked anyone in 6 years?" He stops to look at me and sees the truth in my face.

"I've gone on some dates, but nothing ever happened."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"I can only tell you the truth, I can't make you believe it."

He laughs angrily, finally stopping in front of me, glaring down at me.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me?"

"I-"

"Did you not think I deserved to know?"

"I-I-"

"I would have stayed for you! I-"

I stand up and he backs up a couple steps. "That's exactly why!"

"What?"

"You would've hated us if you stayed. You would've resented it. You just said you'd be disappointed. You don't think we wouldn't have picked up on that?"

"You didn't give me a fucking choice, Vanessa! Does he even know me?"

"He doesn't know who you are. I told him you were a superhero, fighting a really bad man in another country. And that you'd come back when he was caught."

Javier hesitates a moment. "You never gave me a choice! I lost all of that time. I lost...FUCK! I can't even look at you!" He turns and walks away, past the parking lot and into the street, heading towards town.

I call after him but it's no use. I collapse onto the bench, my head in my hands, finally letting the tears out that I'd been holding back for so long.

-------

The next morning, I set at the kitchen island, a mug of hot coffee clutched between my cold hands as I wait for Javier. I hear the sounds of someone moving down the stairs and I sit up straighter, but Chucho enters the kitchen. I feel my face fall as he looks at me.

"I know I'm not a looker but-"

"Sorry, Chucho. I was expecting.." my voice trails off and he cocks his head.

"Javi? He left."

I sit bolt upright. "Left?"

Chucho pours himself a mug of coffee. "Yeah for Cali. Didn't he tell you? He was going to tell you last night that he was heading back. It was sort of a secret but I told him you'd probably notice if you were no longer sharing a bathroom."

I feel the blood drain from my face. "He's gone?"

Chucho turns, mug in hand and scans my face. "Yeah. I thought he told you? When neither of you returned to the reception, I assumed...well, I thought he'd tell you before he..."

Tears fall wet and hard from my already puffy face. Chucho looks alarmed but sets his mug down and pulls me to him, letting me soak his shirt as he makes calming sounds at me.

"I told him, Chucho. I told him about Alex," My speech is muffled but he hears it all the same.

"What happened?"

I tell him the entire conversation, how Javier just stormed off and how I expected to see him this morning, to apologize and tell him he doesn't have to be involved, that I can move out to make it easier. Chucho waves me off with that last one. "I would never make you move out. Javi doesn't cook nearly as good as you."

I give him a small smile, my shoulders still shaking from sobbing.

"Listen, Vanessa. I won't give you a lecture. You know my opnion and it's no use retelling you. But he knows now. Javier tends to run from things."

"So we're his latest Lorraine?"

Chucho cocks his head, thinking. "I doubt that very much. You're not Lorraine. He looks at you differently."

"Looked. I doubt he'll even want to see me again."

"Mm...let's just give him space, ok?"

"But what if he's down there another 6 years?"

"Something tells me it won't take him that long to think about things."

-------

Javier

It had been a month since Vanessa told him he has a kid. That he has a 6 year old son he knew nothing about, knew nothing about him. Except that he's a hero. Which is a lie.

The Cali Cartel had another 5 months before they would be "turning themselves in", which was a big joke. He had to catch them before the time was up so they could face actual justice and not this fake, bureaucratic bullshit.

He's tried to resort back to his old ways of dealing, burying himself in a woman. But when he tried to, he couldn't bring himself to do anything, let alone sleep with them. It was everything he could do to not pick up a cigarette, but his patience was wearing thin.

He tried not to think about Vanessa and her confession. But when the work day was over, and he went back to his penthouse the government provided, his brain would play that conversation over and over in his head. At first, he continued to remain livid, that she had denied him the choice of knowing his family, being with his kid. But then his dad's words echoed in his mind, the call coming the day he landed in Cali.

"That girl has been through hell, Javi. Don't be the asshole you claimed you wouldn't be."

"She didn't tell me I had a kid, dad. A kid! Who does that?"

"She was only thinking about you! This whole time, she was worried about your wellbeing. She didn't want you distracted or resentful, even if it cost her everything."

"What did it cost her?"

"Her parents! Her family, friends, her church. Ours welcomed her with open arms only because I was there to vouch for her. She was shunned from her entire life and still only worried about you. Don't be such a stubborn asshole."

He thought about Vanessa, so young and pregnant, trying to figure out how to tell her strict parents she was expecting despite not being married. Them kicking her out, closing her off from all of her friends and family, anyone who would support her. Her finding the strength and will to drive all the way back to Loredo to try and find him and discovering he would be away for an indefinite amount of time. What would he do in that situation? Run away from it, probably. Which she didn't have the option of doing.

He takes a swig of his drink, the ice cubes clunking against his top lip. He wants to meet his kid, Alex. Wants to tell him that the bad guy was caught and that he's back. Would he be back? It's probably good Alex doesn't know who he is, in case something happens to him here. But if he gets to go home, he knows he wants to be in his life.

What about Vanessa? Will she let him in their lives? Javier is pretty sure she will, even with the way he left. But what about her? If he's honest with himself, truly honest, when he looks past the anger, he sees her big eyes, the freckles on her cheeks, the sass she gives him in her quiet manner. And he thinks, no. He knows. He knows he loves her. He thinks she loves him. If she didn't, surely she would've told him long ago, not caring about his well being. But she had been so adamant about not telling him, wanting him to be safe.

He crosses his arms, pinching the bridge of his nose. Fuck, what was he doing? Granted he signed up to go back to Cali when they called him in, assuming that if he didn't they would throw him in prison. But honestly, he was ready to come back and actually be here when they get the bad guys. But then Vanessa came back into his life and now a kid.

Fuck, he's an idiot.

-------

Vanessa

6 months. It had been 6 months since Javier stormed out and ran away to Cali. Ok, run away was harsh as he went there for work, agreeing to it long before he knew I was here. But he hadn't called and I took that as a sign, no matter how many times Chucho said it doesn't mean anything because he doesn't call him either. He gets too caught up in his work.

It's the start of summer, the windows are open to get a cross breeze coming through the house. I do miss the ac back home, but I'll take Chucho's home over the one I grew up in any day, heat or no.

Alex got a new book and I hadn't seen him for a couple hours as he's spent them in his room, devouring the latest in his series. He did come out once, nose buried in the book, to ask me for a snack.

I finish washing his cup, setting it on the rack to dry. I stare out the little window over the sink, watching Chucho putter about between the barn and the shed, thinking about the animals and how hot it's going to get out there. I know they're used to it, but still. I'' have to get some extra ice trays at the store so I can throw some more in their water troughs. Chucho says that's why they all like me so much.

Suddenly, I hear heavy steps on the wood floor behind me, much heavier than Alex's. I spin, my hand gripping the cast iron pan that was sitting there. But when I fully turn, I nearly drop the pan.

Javier is there, standing in front of me, his chest heaving, a small bead of sweat sliding down his neck and onto his chest, which is slightly exposed by his several undone buttons in his lavender purple, button up shirt.

"Javier, I-"

"Sshh. I'm sorry."

"What?"

He takes a few steps towards me. "I never should have just left. I at least should've told you about Cali."

"No. I'm sorry. I should've told-"

He's only a couple steps from me now. "No, it's ok. I understand. You were thinking about your family. About how it would affect even me. you did what you had to do."

This was not what I expected. He reaches for the pan, still clutched in my hand. He takes it and sets it on the counter behind me, leaning close to me. He looks down at me, his hand coming up to cup my cheek and I inhale sharply at the sensation.

"You're so brave and I'm a fucking idiot."

"You have every right-"

He pulls me to him, gently pressing his lips to mine, giving me time and space to stop him. But what he doesn't know is his touch has sent me spiraling, spinning away into the sky. And when his tongue slides into my mouth, my body trembles slightly, my hand coming up to mindlessly grab onto his arm. But then he pulls back, staring into my eyes.

"I'm in love with you."

My stomach lurches, a thousand butterflies being released in my body at his words. Love? He loves me? I never thought I'd hear those words from anyone, let alone the man I've loved since I was 19. The reason none of my dates every worked out.

"And it's ok if you don't-"

"I love you too."

He smiles, a real smile that lights up even his eyes, both of his hands now cupping my face. "Really?"

"Why do you think none of those dates ever worked out? It was always you, Javi."

He kisses me more passionately now, his hand leaving my face to grip my hip, pulling me against him. I feel him through his tight jeans, pressing into me and I groan a little in his mouth.

"Fuck, you're so intoxicating. It was killing me not to kiss you."

"Mmm." Is all I can manage to say. But then I remember we're not alone, not this time.

"Do you want to meet him?"

Javier pulls his face back from mine. "He's here?"

I nod. "Yeah. Reading, upstairs."

He shifts, tugging on his pants. "Hell yeah I want to meet him. But uh, give me a sec?"

I glance down and chuckle. "Maybe I can help you with that later?"

He groans. "You aren't helping any now."

He turns and walks out the back door and I see him say hi to his dad, embracing him. Chucho watches him for a moment and then a smile appears and he claps him on the shoulder. I can only assume he's telling him he's going to meet Alex. Javier comes back inside, taking a deep breath.

"Ok, I think I'm ready."

"Alex! Can you come downstairs for a minute?"

Small feet patter across the floor upstairs and make their way down, Alex appearing in the kitchen a moment later, his book still propped open in his hand.

"Mom, I was at a really good part!"

"Alex, I have someone I want you to meet."

"Can it wait?"

I kneel down to get on his level, his eyes, so like Javier's, staring back at me, sensing the seriousness.

"Alex, meet your dad, Javier."

Slowly he turns, looking up at Javier who waves at him awkwardly. "Hey, kiddo. I uh, got the bad guy. I'm sorry it took me so long."

Alex continues to stare at him for a moment. Then he throws his precious book to the floor, running full out towards Javier, who throws his arms out at the last minute as Alex leaps into them, nearly knocking him over.

"Dad? It's really you?"

"It really is."

Alex clutches onto him, tears in both of their eyes. "I always dreamed of meeting you! This is the best day of my life!"

Javier hugs him tight, fighting back the tears that are quickly gathering in his eyes. "This is the best day of my life too, son."

-------

2 years later...

I load up the old tractor with a couple of picnic baskets, 4 large thermos full of homemade lemonade next to them. I close the back and carefully hop up, driving slowly across the property, a smile on my face. After a while, I pull up to the 3 men in my life: Chucho trying to carry wood by himself, Javi yelling at him as he runs to help him, and Alex, hammering away at a spare piece of wood. They were at the back end of the property repairing a downed section of fence. Javier sees me pull up and he rushes over, offering me his hand to help me down.

"I wish you hadn't driven this thing."

"Well if I walked, it would've been dinner by the time I brought your lunch."

"Mom! Watch me!" Alex starts hammering on a piece of wood Chucho had laid in the ground, Javier moving to help him pound it in further.

"My strong man!"

"Son, gather up the tools and put them in the box. We're taking a break for lunch."

Alex starts to look around for the tools as Javier turns back to me. He wraps his arm around me and leans in to kiss me, sliding his tongue over my bottom lip.

"Now now none of that. That made this happen," I rest my hand on my enlarged belly as Javier leans down, planting a kiss to my stomach before standing back up. He leans close to my ear.

"I plan on putting as many kids in you as you'll let me."

I slap his chest, but the thought warms me. "Let's just see how these 2 go first, yeah?"

He smiles at me, kissing me again before lifting Alex into the back of the trailer, helping me to set up the picnic lunches I had made for all of them. As we stare out at the river, a boat comes through, obviously carrying illegal items, most likely drugs. Javier stiffens, but then looks around at us.

"I'm done. I've done all I can. Now I just want to spend my life with my family."

-------

General Taglist:

@frankie-catfish-morales @chaoticgeminate @janebby @astoryisaloveaffair @balekanemohafe @greeneyedblondie44 @hoeforthefictional @marvelousmermaid @hauntedmama @icanbeyourjedi @wretchedmo @sunnshineeexoxo @livingmydreams13 @adventures-of-a-noodle @sara-alonso @theewokingdead @punkerthanpascal @giggly-otter @f0rever15elf @phandoz @gallowsjoker @lovesbiggerthanpride @booksarekindaneat @charlispersonallyhell @xoxabs88xox @amneris21 @gooddaykate @avengers-fixation @paintballkid711 @harriedandharassed @ladykatakuri @practicalghost @withakindheartx @batdarkladyvampir @justanotherkpopstanlol @mermaidxatxheart @alexxavicry @justreblogginfics @kmc1989 @veryprairieberry @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @heartpascalispunk

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isroji · 4 months ago

Text

Enjoy the silence | Travis Hackett | Chapter I

The sheriff of North kill

Summary: The summer finally arrives and Hackett's quarry opens it doors again. This year, with a new counselor. A pretty pretty particular one. Of course, as everything related to North kill, Travis Hackett ends up involved.

TW: Teen pregnancy, age gap relationship, eventual smut, topics such as immigration mentioned.

Things to know before reading: foreign OC, changes to the original plot.

Author's note: I needed so bad to write about this man. Please keep in mind English is not my first language, so, if you see any kind of grammar mistake, feel free to tell me about it. I hope you enjoy it.

•

—Oh, my little girl...

•

"So... we have a little shy one here, don't we?"

Chris Hackett's words made Camila smile. She moved her head slightly, looking at the little boy who was hiding behind her leg. A gentle hand rested on the child's head, caressing it tenderly.

"Carlos, this is Chris," the girl said, pointing to the man in front of her. "Come on, mi amor, say hi."

Carlitos, as his mother lovingly called him, peeked out one of his small eyes. Compared to him, Chris looked much bigger. He didn't like it when big men approached him and his mother, although he also had some parts of his hair painted white, which reminded him somehow of his grandfather. He waved his little hand in greeting.

"There he is!" Chris exclaimed happily.

Genuine happiness flashed across his eyes. Carlitos' shyness reminded him of his eldest daughter when she was just a little girl. Past times, better times.

Dylan, the boy next to Chris, scratched his neck uncomfortably. He knew how to deal with the children at the camp, but this one here was much smaller.

"So..." He squatted down, wanting to be at the same height as the kid "How old are you?" He asked, trying to sound as friendly as possible.

Carlos opened the palm of his hand, displaying the number 5. The only three people who heard the child speak were Camila and her grandparents. No one really understood why, but with the others he limited himself to mere physical expressions and whatever his big brown eyes could convey. This being a relief, since he was a very expressive little boy.

"Quite a big boy!" Said Abigail, who, along with the other two girls, seemed delighted by the presence of that boy.

She could already see the image of Carlos showing his hand captured in her drawing notebook.

Babies always caused a sensation among women, Camila knew it. Her's was no longer exactly a baby, but he was quite a cutie. She understood it. If she could, she would also spend the day squeezing those cheeks.

Again, shame flooded Carlos, hiding his face in his mother's leg.

Camila sighed.

"He's a little shy, but I assure you he's very kind. Right, Carlitos?" She asked, continuing with the action of stroking his head.

He nodded. He always got nervous when he had to be around so many people. Especially if they were big people. Lots of eyes on him, lots of attention.

"We are very happy that you have arrived, the other counselor who was supposed to work with you in the nursery has not arrived yet and from the looks of it, she will not." Chris spoke, finally bringing the important topic to the table; the job.

Camila clicked her tongue.

"Looks like it'll just be you and me in the infirmary, baby." She commented to his son.

Carlitos, with his face protected by his mother's leg, smiled. He liked being her assistant.

Ryan, the only one who hadn't said a single word in all this time, finally entered to the conversation.

"Actually, another counselor is also missing..." He sounded almost sorry. Kept looking at Carlos.

He was part of that group that didn't really know how to deal with the 5-year-old boy. Preteens were simple. He told them his horror stories and let them stay outside at night for 15 more minutes and they already loved him. In this case, he had a little boy just as reserved as him, who also didn't even know how to read or write. Or he did? At what age did children learn to write?

Chris looked at him, as if reproaching the comment. Camila didn't pay attention.

"It's good that there are two of us here." Was her response, making most of those present laugh.

Half joke, half reality. She would be lying if she said this was the first time her son accompanied her to work. Being a young single mother robbed her of many privileges, and the truth is that Carlitos was already more than used to following her everywhere, no matter what job it was.

When the laughter stopped, Chris returned to his usual role.

"Well, guys, no more wasting time. Show Camila and Carlos the cabins and the place in general. Our campers arrive tomorrow and everything must be ready." He ordered, encouraging the young people around him.

Camila, somewhat different from the rest, was very excited to start the work. Unlike the others, this was her first time as a counselor. Everyone already knew the place, except her and her faithful companion. She knew so few places in the country where she lived that this felt like a real adventure.

She took the bags with her. Watching Chris disappear through the door of the large house, she stopped to take a look to her surroundings. Carlitos mentioned when they were on the road that those trees were the biggest he had ever seen, and if she thought about it, believed the same. It was barely 7 in the morning and the sun was already beginning to shine brightly, forcing her to leave her pair of sunglasses on. Being the city girl that she was, she found it annoying how much people from areas like this exaggerated the subject of views and landscapes, but now that she walked among them herself, she admitted that even the colors felt more vivid and beautiful. How happy it made her that her son was going to spend one of his first summers in a place like that.

Lost in the landscape, a male voice brought her back to the moment.

"It's a long walk to the cabins, little friend..." Jacob, the "big guy" of the group, began to speak, addressing Carlos. "Do you want to ride on my shoulders?"

Suddenly, Carlos's shy face lit up. He let go of his mother's hand and ran to Jacob, just as he did with his grandfather, who, when taking him to preschool, also made him sit on his shoulders. Jacob smiled like a child, picking up the little boy as soon as he arrived and placing him on his shoulders.

"It's the best view, right?" He asked, holding the kid's legs firmly.

Camila, partly relieved at how comfortable her son seemed with him and partly anxious about the number of accidents her mind was imagining from such a sudden action, was not too sure about allowing her son to make the walk on Jacob's shoulders, the guy who seemed taken from the American series she watched when she was a teenager.

Jacob, noticing Camila's nervous gaze on him, spoke.

"Don't worry! I have carried much heavier things."

Things, not children. Specifically, not her child.

The blonde who had introduced herself as Emma a few minutes ago suddenly appeared near Camila.

"Don't worry about him, he's harmless," She said in a low, almost confident voice. "Your child will have another child to play with."

Oh, Camila knew it.

"That's precisely what worries me," she admitted, laughing.

The guys around her seemed nice. They all looked equally young, equally inexperienced. She probably looked like that in their eyes too, with the only difference being carrying a little guy at her side and the experience that this brought.

Carlos was always surrounded by teenagers. From his birth, when 17-year-old Camila cradled him in her arms, until today. Her mother's friends were the first babysitters in his life, the exception being when an university teacher would swing his baby carriage when she found Camila asleep in some corner of the classroom. In general, both his mother and his friends grew up with him. All this, being Camila's biggest concern regarding the summer that was coming. She was going to deal with people her own age, but unlike her, they did not yet have the responsibility of a child. Maybe she thought too much, according to Chris this was everyone's second year as monitors, they would already know how to handle the children. She didn't want to be prejudiced, she really didn't, but when it came to caring for her son...

"Calm down, mama bear." Emma whispered, almost reading Camila's thoughts.

She couldn't do anything but smile. It would definitely be a fun summer for her and Carlitos. The best, for sure. She had a feeling that this month and a half would feel like a class on how to stop being an overprotective mom. At least the first step had already been taken.

•

"New counselors?"

Chris Hackett looked away from the papers in his hand, watching his older brother in the doorway. Travis had this ability to appear suddenly, without even a single noise to warn of his presence. The years had gotten him used to it, but from time to time it gave him a little scare.

"Mhmm." Was his response, continuing with the long paperwork that would surely have him sitting there all day.

Could someone tell parents that information documents about their children didn't need to have things like "favorite food"?

Travis walked into the office. Chris couldn't see it, but he was tense. He didn't know how to shake off that discomfort that invaded him every time he had to talk to his brother about that topic, especially when the bad news was included.

A strange throat clearing came from the older one. Chris looked at him again.

This time the youngest Hackett did notice the image of his brother.

"Tell me no one is dead, please." He asked. His voice sounded pleading, matching the tiredness that his gaze conveyed.

Travis looked away. He hated being the bearer of bad news. He knew that from the moment the moon set and the sun gave way to a new day in Northkill, he must have talked to his brother about certain events of the previous night, he knew it. However, he couldn't.

"The counselors you told me about..." He started, but his brother didn't let him continue.

"Bitten? Dead?" He asked, straight to the point.

"Dead. It seems that Silas was on the road last night." He reported, as if it were another of his police reports. It was simpler that way.

If it didn't feel so personal, it didn't matter, right?

Liar. Damn old liar.

Chris sighed, letting his head fall.

Travis, now even more uncomfortable, walked towards one of the windows. Seeing the beauty of the camp where many years ago (too many, if he thought about it) he was so happy, always helped him feel better. However, it was something else that caught his attention. His face wrinkled, looking confused.

"I thought the children were arriving tomorrow..." He mentioned, watching the group of counselors walk.

He doubted his eyesight was failing him. He was more than sure that the one on the boy's shoulders was a kid, and one much smaller than the ones his brother received each year for camp.

Ugh, the camp. Cruel reminder that his job would become more difficult for a month and a half. He didn't like children and their ability to get into trouble.

Chris looked at his brother.

"Yes, they'll arrive tomorrow," he stated, getting up and walking towards the window with Travis. "He is the son of one of my counselors. The one who goes there."

Travis, taking his eyes off the boy and the child, followed his brother's finger until he found the aforementioned. He couldn't help but be surprised. Was he already that old? Or did that girl look exaggeratedly young?

Chris saw the surprise in his brother.

"I know." It was his only comment.

He also had the same expression as Travis when he first met Camila. Everyone, really. The other counselors, although a little less, were also surprised when that small human being appeared holding the girl's hand.

"She doesn't look older than Kaylee." Travis said, still looking at the young woman.

"She is, but only for two years. She is twenty-two." Chris answered.

As soon as his brother mentioned the girl's age, Travis stopped looking at her.

Don't you think you're too old to be seeing twenty-two-year-old girls?

The amount of questions Travis had in his head regarding her vanished. The less he knew, the better. He turned around, walking a couple of steps and leaving the window.

Great, as if it wasn't difficult to take care of teenagers and pre-teens, now he had to take care of that. Little children were a big no for him. Very curious, very easy to lose sight of. He remembered his nephew Caleb in his first years of life and all the scares he gave Chris and Amelia when he decided to play at being an adventurer in the forest.

"Don't you think it's a little dangerous to have such a young child in Hackett's Quarry?" he asked, back to his usual bitter sheriff appearance.

Chris, still at the window, didn't seem worried.

"You think too much."

His brother's favorite phrase. Travis hated it. It wasn't that he thought too much, it was that he was the only one in his family who thought. Of course, he fixed everything.

Sure, if the kid saw something he shouldn't have, if he got lost where he shouldn't get lost or something happened to him that wasn't supposed to happen to him; It would be his fault. Because, how could Sheriff Hackett let that happen?

The eldest Hackett hastened his departure. He wasn't going to talk to Chris, there was no point. They never listened to him, this wouldn't be the first time. He prayed that this girl would know how to take care of her little... creature.

Creature? Oh, Travis, what's wrong with you?

"Just... Keep the boy away from the forest, okay? Last year it was a pain in the ass to have to look for your lost camper."

And with that, he left. He had bigger problems waiting for him at his police station. Problems that perhaps he should have share with Chris, but he would prefer, of course, to be the one to bear the responsibility.

He did not expect that when he left the house, a meeting with that girl who he had looked so much from the window would be waiting for him.

Camila's big eyes met the tall, strange figure of a police officer. A policeman? It took her mind several seconds to assimilate that yes, she had a police officer in front of her. One too high. Too serious.

Camila, even though she had already passed that moment in her life where she should have had reasons to fear encountering a police officer, still felt a certain unease in their presence. There were no reasons, not anymore, but bad habits were difficult to erase. She didn't know if her face reflected it, but coming across one so abruptly (especially one so visually intimidating) left her in shock for a moment.

Long seconds of silence passed between the two. Travis, without transmitting any emotion in the sight of Camila. And she, of course, looking like a confused mouse in his eyes. He didn't find that reaction new, in fact, it was the most common.

Young and foolish, the older man imagined. How much shine in those scared eyes. Big and shiny.

Camila, seeking to somehow cut the awkwardness of the situation, decided to speak first. It was hard to get the words out of her mouth.

"Um..." She cut herself off, clearing her throat "Hello."

Travis didn't recognize the accent. He knew it wasn't even remotely close to Northkill, but he didn't find it similar to any he'd heard before. It was strong, too strong for such a high voice.

Camila waited for a word from the man, but her wait was in vain. More seconds full of silence and discomfort. Was it her idea or was he terrifying?

"I... I have to..." She didn't know what to say or how to make the moment less strange "Pass? Chris?"

Finally, the policeman in front of her showed signs of life. A raised eyebrow and an obvious what? captured on the man's face made Camila understand that he understood absolutely nothing of what she said. English in itself was difficult for her, in situations like this the concept of fluency was not exactly her strong point.

"I mean, I need to talk to Chris. The owner of the camp?" She said this time, still faltering over the words, but a little more coherent.

Even more doubt. No, that way of pronouncing the words... He didn't find it similar to anything.

Camila didn't know if a divine deity felt pity for her, or if Chris simply heard the strange interaction, but the owner of the camp appeared behind the police officer.

"Chris!" Camila exclaimed, relieved.

Chris looked at her and then at his brother. It was like going back years to when he would ask a girl out and by bad luck she would end up bumping into his brother. Travis Hackett was no expert when it came to human interactions. Worse if it was a woman, especially a pretty one.

A sight was heard from the youngest Hackett.

"Camila, this is my brother, Travis," he presented, placing a hand on the aforementioned's shoulder. "He is the sheriff of North kill."

Camila nodded slowly. They didn't look like brothers, and if they really were, they looked like a version of a good twin and a bad twin.

"Nice to meet you, Sheriff Hackett." She managed to say, extending her hand.

Travis contemplated not receiving the greeting, but something in the back of his brain screamed at him to move his hand. And so he did.

He couldn't remember the last time his cold skin had contact with such a warm place. The paleness of his hand was overshadowed by the girl's brown fingers. He couldn't help to notice how that caramel color shone with the reflection of the sun.

How could he not look at her? She literally glowed.

Speak, idiot.

"Likewise, miss... " He left the sentence in the air. He really didn't want to know anything about her, he knew he shouldn't, but curiosity got the better of him.

"Ramirez." Camila hurried to say. Suddenly didn't find the moment so terrible.

Travis understood in that moment. That's why he didn't recognize the accent. What a way to attract attention, it seemed like everything about that girl was trying to stand out. And she did it.

"Miss Ramirez." He pronounced, as best he could, the last name.

Camila couldn't help that giggle. Travis understood why, and even though he would have loved to smile back, like a normal human being, he did nothing but ignore her.

Travis broke contact with the girl. It was distracting him too much, and more important things than an attractive young woman were waiting for him at the police station.

"Have a good day."

Short, dry. As it should be.

Chris looked at Camila, almost telepathically apologizing.

Travis quickened the pace to his patrol car.

And as suddenly as he appeared, he left.

#travis hackett #travishackettxreader #ted raimi #the quarry game #the quarry #fanfic #oc #original character #travis hackett x OC

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solei-eclipse · 3 months ago

Note

Sending this as an ask cause I don't think tumblr is going to let me send this full thing in the reply of your last post:

Your wellbeing is more important than anything else! It's okay if you miss stuff or are too tired to participate when things happen within the community; it's okay if you're not as fixated on Alien Stage anymore; just because you are admittedly seen as one of the bigger ALNST bloggers on Tumblr does NOT mean that you owe anyone anything. That goes for the OC stuff too. Sorry if this is a bit too personal, but we enjoy seeing you around not because of what you can provide but because you’re you, and we just enjoy your presence; it's as simple as that. We love you Para, and we just want you to be okay.

It's not too personal at all, no worries :) in fact, it was really nice to read when I first saw it. thank you for all your reassurances, you have no idea the wonders it did for me.

thank you for your kindness, im genuinely really grateful for all this understanding. there's a lot of stuff that I've been forced to deal with lately and while the current issue is thankfully over, I know another one is bound to pop up soon. It's okay, though! I'll manage, it'll just take some time. I hope you guys can forgive me for going silent on occasion... I'm still here! Just busy.

Honestly I've been a little more comfortable on this sideblog than on shkingpardigm... that blog has a great deal of followers and while I will always be grateful for it, admittedly I've been more cautious. I always worry about saying the wrong thing, haha... (I find I still do very often though) The rapid growth of that blog was both fascinating and startling. Now that it's become bigger, I've been worried about whether or not my passion for ALNST is enough. I'm not sure when I'll be able to get to all the requests and thoughts shared with me over there, but I really hope to answer eventually because I want to honor the time and effort others spent into writing them. It's just been so much lately, and I can barely find the right words anymore. I almost always feel guilty for posting when I haven't answered them yet, especially since I love reading them and am really grateful to receive them.

It's been a little easier on here, where I've been creating my own things and sharing these creations with others, building our things around each other and such. Thank you all for being so wonderful and kind.

I hope this doesn't come off as me being ungrateful. I've been worried about voicing these thoughts for a while because I know how disheartening it may sound. I love ALNST, I love every ask and submission I receive no matter if it's a few short words or entire lengthy essays, and I love sharing thoughts and creations with others. There's just so much I want to do and so little time, so little energy I have left especially with my degrading health. All I can do at this point is ask for patience and forgiveness. Me bones don't work like they used to, youngsters.... arghhh my back.... my scoliosis..... my debts..

Once again, still here! Always will be (menacingly), just don't be too worried if I disappear sometimes!! That's me going out there and fighting the Horrors™. I always feel such a sense of joy and relief when I come back to Tumblr and see everyone's posts and creations (ALNST or OC or anything, really). It's like a reprieve for me, seeing all the new things that have been posted.

Thanks again for all your concern and support, I want you guys to know that I return it tenfold and hope you take care of yourselves as well. All the same applies to you! Take a step back whenever necessary, always prioritize yourself and know that you aren't pressured or expected of anything. You will still be loved and cared for no matter what! Always take your time and do what makes you happy :) <3

#thank you geospiral <3 it means a lot to me #asks

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scenezfreak · 10 months ago

Text

NEW INTRODUCTION!!!

☆彡 Name: Gravez

★彡 Age: 17

☆彡 Interests: I love gaming. I love anything horror ofc. I draw occasionally. I do nothing but stay home all day so don’t be shy to talk! I don’t bite, I promise, darling.

★彡 Dislikes: Rude ppl of course. Waking up early (waking up at all actually). Honestly I can’t name a lot off the top of my head.

☆彡 What age do I allow on my blog? I allow 16+, though I know I can’t stop people younger than that from looking at my blog. I js wanna write mine and others dirty thoughts peacefully.

★彡 What’s my posting schedule like? I post whenever I can! Maybe one over the week days and as many as I can over the weekends! <- Same goes for when I have time off, I’ll write as much as I can if there’s requests.

☆彡 If you want to talk personally then just send me a message! Sadly I don’t see every comment or request fast but I check the app almost daily!

Rules for requesting!

Master list: 🪦

⚠️ Please please pleaseee read these before you actually request. If you don’t follow these rules then I just won’t do your request, I’m sorry!

⚠️ Please note that this is a NSFW account, I do write fluff if requested!

☆彡 Do NOT request and children to be written about, absolutely not.

★彡 Any questions about me or just to talk is fine! I’ll respond to those as soon as I see them!

☆彡 I don’t write character x character or oc x character. I’m not comfortable with it, but I’m sure there’s others who are more than happy to do that!

★彡 Any hate I get in my ask box will be ignored and deleted. Hate doesn’t work on me, sorry! Because I’m the type of person who doesn’t give a shit whether you like me or not.

☆彡 Do not request anything that will put down or offend a group of people.

★彡 Do not request Scat or any of that nasty shit. I might let piss slide on some occasions…

☆彡 I don’t write any cheating hcs or anything to do with cheating! I think I may have once but I didn’t really enjoy it…I know you guys love angst but I’m not a huge fan of writing it, sorry!

★彡　PLEASE specify which gender you want the reader to be..if you don’t then I’ll just write gn!reader but I can’t promise it’ll be good since I can’t really specify and use body parts if it’s gn…

☆彡 Please don’t be afraid to request! I don’t judge whatever people are into, nor do I mind writing your requests. It just gives me something to do and to think about!

⚠️: I deeply apologize if I don’t get to your request! Please understand I don’t have time for every single request that’s in my inbox. If you see that I haven’t gotten to yours and you REALLY want me to write about it then request it again, I can’t promise that it’ll work but your request would definitely be put higher on the list. Thank you for understanding!

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misc-obeyme · 6 months ago

Note

i just had a major breakthrough last night and wrote four pages of bullet points with random plot ideas, scenarios, and dialogue in my sketchbook 😅 IT WAS SO LATE AT NIGHT I CAN BARELY READ MY OWN HANDWRITING

I'm still trying to figure out the proper term, but Solomon is majoring in music composition !! Wiki says his favorite genre is classical music, and I like the idea he would want to create his own. His main instrument is piano !! But he has basic knowledge of guitar and the violin. (It'll be mainly running into the coffee shop together separately and living their lives, but once they get closer, Sol tries teaching me piano because i wanted to learn- THERE'S A BACKSTORY TO THIS AND ANOTHER PLOT IDEA !!!)

Simeon is also studying at the same college, and is writing TSL online. He has his own website, and Solomon creates pieces to go along with scenes in the book. (This is a whole other plot point)

I think right now it's going "Horror Night/Realizations" (the three of them going to see a movie that Solomon was excited to see, end up at a diner afterwards) -> "Burned CD's/Mammon Playlist Drama" (hehehe- WAIT IT'S NOT ANGST, GOTTA CLARIFY THE RECORD STORE DOES N O T BURN DOWN) -> "Halloween Party w/ Asmo" (A vampire, a werewolf, and a devil. What could go wrong? Or right? 👀) -> "Retail Therapy/Talks" (bookstores are a girl's best friend)

I haven't decided what role every character will play, but Levi makes an appearance with the CD stuff, Asmo throws the party and is studying to be a fashion designer, Satan owns a bookstore that I frequently visit (ANOTHER PLOT POINT AHAH), and Lucifer makes another appearance.

i keep writing things down and then getting more ideas and it feels like one big web, BUT IT'S ALL CONNECTED !! This is so much fun !! So technically yes, apprentice ish on the side, and Mammon does confess (kinda). I HAVE THIS PLANNED OUT BUT I DIDN'T WANT THIS TO GET LONG (IT DID ANYWAY), I JUST WANTED TO SHARE BECAUSE I'M WRITING THIS AS I GET READY FOR WORK AJDJJSD OKAY BYEEE

- ✨ anon

Wow this really is turning into an epic love story for the ages!! I love it lol!

Ohhhh music major, eh?!? My main instrument is also the piano! What a coincidence! Okay, actually, that's really easy to figure out considering my OC is a music demon and he is also known for his piano skills alskdfj. But Arsenios is a demon so he has magical talent that allows him to play any instrument. He's like everything I wish I could be as a musician lol!!! But anyway, got a bit sidetracked there, sorry. I love Solomon as a composer. That just feels like something he'd get lost in, you know? Music can be simple, but it can also be really complicated. And just imagine that guy getting lost in writing some kinda orchestral masterpiece... Or if he did a little conducting too, that baton is basically a magic wand...

Anyway, I love how we're getting all the other characters involved now, too!

See, you've already got the timeline, too!

I mean, what you're doing right now is basically outlining a story! I never outline anything because I am a degenerate, but that's exactly the kinda thing that a lot of people do before writing. So you're setting yourself up for success, I'd say! I mean, it's all whatever, writing is a personal process!

I'm loving your ideas and I'm loving the enthusiasm!! This right here is exactly why I write - because it's fun!

I hope you continue to enjoy coming up with ideas and if you do decide to write it, I hope you enjoy yourself!!

#truly for me the only motivation is fun lol #obey me #✨ anon #misc answers

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i-did-not-mean-to · 4 months ago

Note

I've seen many posts about people missing how common asks used to be so I have been trying to send about an ask a week. Now I send this ask first anytime I follow someone as I really don't want to bother anyone, so I'd love to know if you enjoy receiving asks and if so what kind of asks. Not having energy for asks or being comfortable with them is perfectly okay.

The categories I have in my ask notebook that I file under are in colour. Please feel free to make your response as long as you want or private (the asker cannot directly respond to private responses).

Self, Job/Work: please let me know what you are comfortable with from eh idk just ask it to nothing personal at all.

Baggishield/Tolkien, Dragon Age, Johnlock/Sherlock, ineffable spouses, other fandom: Please let me know what fandoms. I think my main fandoms and ships are Bagginshield/The Hobbit, Sherlock/Johnlock, Dragon Age Inquisition, {Pippin/Faramir Merry/Eowyn}/The Lord of the Rings and I dip my toes in a few that I currently can't remember but ships I don't engage with the canon of at all are: Good Omens but only for Crowley/Azirapheal, Stranger Things but only for Steve/Eddie , The Witcher but only for Geralt/Jaskier.

OC's, art/drawing, their writing, blog specific only

Story snippets ideas and prompts: Do you like receiving them?

Pets: I'd love to know all about them

Garden and Hobbies: What type of gardening and/or hobbies?

Like being tagged in things: If so what kinds of things?

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer.

Hello, hello...

Oh, that is so kind and nice of you! Let me see...

There is not much to be said about myself or my job lol

I am not exactly a Bagginshield writer even though I have written that pairing. I do not engage with any of the others, and I'm only familiar with Good Omens and Sherlock (but I don't interact with the fandoms).

I don't have any OCs, sorry, I do write a lot, but I do mostly Ori for the Hobbit, Farawyn for LOTR, and the Silm in all its breadth.

I love prompts! OMG so much.

I have 1 ugly cat and two lovely dogs. Please feel free to ask about them any time you want. They're my beloved!

I am a terrible gardener (it's shameful), I do a bit of crochet (in winter), a bit of art (very badly), and a thousand other small things :D

I love being tagged in all kinds of things. Animals. Jokes. Tolkien content. Memes. I'd love to be tagged.

Okay, let me shoot back with a list of things I adore getting:

Movie/Show recs (I love historical things, docus about animals, horror movies, romantic movies, NO biopics, war movies, or action movies)

Memes about Tolkien/GRR Martin/The Boys/Sherlock/Lucifer

Inspirational quotes :)

Updates from you. What are you doing? DId you see a nice dog? What weather are you having today?

Pictures of animals

Thank you so much for reaching out, this made me so happy <3

#idnmt answers #amloveabledeathmo #asks

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mint-yooxgi · 11 months ago

Text

Fight or Flight - Yandere!Redcap!Mingi X Tall!Chubby!Reader

Fae!AU & Yandere!AU - Part of the CoDN Thrill of the Hunt Collab

Genre: Fantasy, Mature, Horror, Angst, Fluff, Smut

Pairing: Mingi X Reader

Words: 7,327

Rating: Mature - 18+ MDNI

Warnings: Please read the warnings carefully, as this is a very heavy story dealing with many dark topics. This is also all of the warnings for this fic as it is one long one shot that I had to split into multiple parts, and I'm too tired right now to individually categorize all of these warnings to their respective parts. 8 ft tall Mingi. Slow burn. Violence: depiction of a massacre, a deer being slaughtered, as well as physical, verbal, sexual, and emotional, both alluded to and not. Blood and gore. Abuse: physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual, both alluded to and implied. Assault: physical, and sexual, both alluded to, implied, and attempted. OC has a really rough past, really this isn't for the faint of heart. Whipping, both alluded to, and done. Mentions of branding. Heavy themes of possession and ownership. Deception. Arson. Really, there's a lot of dark subject matter. Mingi falls hard and fast, thus, he simps a lot for the OC, but it's not a story written by me if Mingi doesn't simp for the OC. The reader is mentioned to be both tall and chubby, but it is not mentioned often, so it shouldn't disrupt the flow of the story when ready if you are not tall and/or chubby. I think that's everything, but if I missed something, please let me know! Smut: Biting/marking, outdoor sex, fingering (fem. rec), oral (fem. rec), hand job (male rec), come eating, overstimulation, Mingi has a dig bick, sex in a spring, really, it's very soft in comparison to the subject matter. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

P.S. If there are any spelling or grammatical errors, please ignore them. I did my best through many rounds of editing, but some are liable to still slip through.

A/n: I am SO sorry this took me LITERALLY forever to complete. I meant to have this out so much earlier, and actually posted on time, but it turned out much, much longer than I ever anticipated it being. I'm really proud of how this story turned out, and I didn't want to split it into multiple parts because I felt it would take away from the story as a whole. I'm super excited for you all to read this one, as I had a tremendous amount of fun writing it, and I really hope you all love Mingi's and OC's journey as much as I do. Huge shoutout and thanks to @anyamaris and @kwanisms for listening to me ramble and rave about this story both before and during the writing process, and for always encouraging me while writing! Also, huge thank you to @sanjoongie for being so patient and understanding with me as I write this all out in full. I hope you all enjoy! As always feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~

Summary: Out of one horrible situation and into another, the cycle of abuse never stops. You've lived with monsters your whole life. So, what's one more?

P.P.S. Please don't let this flop guys. If you enjoyed it, please reblog!!!

Mini Masterlist

An annoyed sigh leaves his lips at the incessant chatter he hears around him. Low whispers rise in volume until the dull buzz of voices consumes him, interrupting his post meal relaxation. Irritation mars his features, his brow tugging downwards as he pulls the broken sliver of bone he had been using to pick at his teeth with out of his mouth.

“What is with your incessant whining?”

All Mingi had wanted to do was relax after dinner. In peace, within the confines of his makeshift encampment at the heart of his battalion, but it seems there’s been a commotion at the far edge.

“Humans, General.” One of his underlings, a vice-captain under his command, Darius, hisses. “They say they want to make a deal.”

Mingi scoffs, rolling his eyes, “Not too bright, are they?”

“When have humans ever been known to be smart?” Darius snickers.

Mingi heaves a long sigh, standing to his feet. “Given the length of this interaction, I can’t trust any of you to be competent enough to end this quickly.”

“They’re persistent, General.” He replies, flinching back as Mingi turns his sharp-eyed gaze to him.

“You let them think their words had any merit of importance to us.” The redcap general snaps. “No wonder they’re being so uncooperative.”

Striding through the encampment, the whispers finally come to a halt. A dead silence surrounds his soldiers as Mingi strolls through their ranks, eyes zeroing in on the small gathering of frail humans. Darius rushes along behind the proud general, whom stands a good eight feet tall. The tallest amongst his redcap companions.

A red sash is tied around Mingi’s bicep, alerting all to his rank within the gathered redcaps. There is a clear air of respect the others hold for him as he walks passed, holding his head high, no falter in his steps. Some even go so far as to look upon him in awe while others incline their head out of respect.

Reaching the edges of his encampment, Mingi scowls. “What’s the big idea here?”

“Ah, General!” Lias turns to him, a malicious grin tugging at the younger captain’s lips. “These humans insist on making a trade with us.”

“How did they even find us in the first place?” Mingi darts his gaze over to the three standing before him, just over the threshold of their protection line.

A woman seems to be holding another in her arms. The one with her head down doesn’t say much, but the one holding her trembles as she meets Mingi’s gaze. The male, slightly taller than the woman being held, stands a little straighter.

“We know mushroom rings will bring us where we want to be, or rather, to whom.” He replies, almost defiantly. “You just so happened to be the closest in the area.”

“Why are you wasting our time?” Mingi growls, teeth bared over much too sharp fangs.

“Please,” the woman holding the other in her arms seems desperate as she attempts to take a step forward.

That’s when he notices: the tall women is unconscious, being held up by the other. He quirks a brow, unaware a frail human such as the small one could ever be so strong.

“We just want to make a deal.” The man states, rather firmly.

Mingi’s gaze darts between the two humans.

“They want us to take their daughter for them.” Lias snorts, Darius laughing along with him. “As if we would care for such a useless mortal.”

“We know a little about your kind.” The woman continues. “Please, we know she’ll be better off here. We don’t want anything in return, just her safety.”

“She can earn her place.” The male adds. “She can look after herself, just please, take her with you.”

“We’re not about to gain something you don’t want.” Mingi retorts harshly, crossing his arms over his chest. “She has no use to us.”

“That’s not it at all.” The male is quick to shake his head, attempting to take a step towards the gathered redcaps only to be greeted by snarls and snapping fangs. He freezes. “Please-“

“We don’t need one of your kind slowing us down.” Mingi states, narrowing his eyes at the way the unconscious woman sways slightly. Honestly, he’s surprised this woman hasn’t fallen over yet, or caused the other holding her up to collapse under her seemingly dead weight.

“She won’t slow you down!” The woman is quick to protest.

“Watch your tongue, mortal.” Darius snaps. “This is no ordinary general you’re speaking to.”

The woman bows her head, cowering back and holding the other tighter to her chest. Though, due to the height difference, it looks quite awkward. A fact only echoed by the snickers Mingi can hear echo out behind him.

“Oh, come on,” Lias tilts his head slightly, a mischievous gleam in his gaze. “This could be fun. We could always use another pack mule.”

Some more snickers are heard from around the area, along with the snapping of jaws in agreement. The harsh clicking of fangs only rises in sound, and Mingi can smell the spikes of fear from the two conscious humans. A taste he absolutely revels in.

“The human would be safe with us from whatever outside forces you’re referring to.” Lias continues, his lips stretching widely over all too sharp teeth.

Mingi spares a glance around at his men, noting their sudden change in attitude. The eager gleams he sees throughout the crowd have him heaving a sigh.

“Very well,” he turns, beginning to walk away from this whole matter. He’ll let his men have their fun, and with any luck, the human will be dead come morning. “She’s your responsibility, though. If she survives.”

A cheer rises up through the surrounding redcaps as the tall women gets torn from the other’s arms and dragged across the protection barrier. Mingi thinks nothing of the way a faint smell of blood rises on the air, knowing his men are probably already having their fun after bringing the human properly into their realm. The other two have already been sent back, their memories altered forever. If they even remember having a daughter at all would be a miracle.

Entering his own private tent, Mingi settles into his favourite chair. Kicking his feet up onto a little stump, he leans back, relaxing into the evening chill that begins to settle over the land. They’ve still got a long ways to go to return to their keep, the scouting mission having taken a lot out of them. The rogue redcaps they had been hunting have all been dealt with. Traitors, every last one of them. The fight they had put up was gruesome, but as always, Mingi and his men came out on top.

Despite it all, some of his men still have energy to burn as he hears the familiar hooting and hollering of his subordinates last long into the night.

***

The next day, Mingi wakes to the encampment practically all cleaned up. Some of his men are finishing last minute preparations for travel, their bags packed and stored for easier maneuvering. All that’s left is to secure his own lodgings for the next leg of their journey.

“The human finally woke up.” Darius informs Mingi as he steps to the head of the line.

“She’s not dead?” Mingi quirks a brow, barely bothering to scan the gathered ranks to see if he can spot the women he saw last night.

“We figured we could use her for some entertainment-“ at Mingi’s sharp glare, Darius stops himself. “She’s surprisingly stronger than she looks. We’ve loaded her with a few packs and told her to carry them for us, or else she won’t like the outcome.” The vice-captain shrugs. “She complied.”

Mingi hums to himself, turning towards the direction they’ll be setting off in in a few minutes. He finds it odd for a human to be so complacent. All of the stories he’s heard contradict such simplistic actions. He was expecting screaming, and an attempt to run the first moment she regained consciousness.

Even more shocking is the fact that you’re still alive.

“Don’t let it go on too long,” Mingi shoots him a look out of the corner of his eyes. “Have your fun, but make sure she doesn’t slow me down.”

“Of course, General.” Darius nods, saluting him before running off to finish some last minute things.

Quietly, Mingi observes his battalion. He can see Lias barking orders at some subordinates to finish packing the rest of the camp quickly. Others appear to be scrambling about, and true to Darius’ word, Mingi spots that same tall woman from last night standing off to the side.

There’s nothing special about you. At least, from what Mingi can tell. You stand upright, spine straight with three packs carried on your figure. Their bulk simply adds to your own, nearly drowning you in their sheer size. Your face looks worn, and tired, but you move around where they instruct you to without complaint.

Mingi just hopes you can keep up with them.

A few minutes later, the redcaps are on the move. Multiple shoot you looks of disgust as they run passed, growling lowly in your direction. Some even go to far as to purposely run into you, spitting on you as they knock you over in your attempts to keep pace with the company.

It isn’t more than an hour into the morning when you start to fall behind.

Mingi heaves out a sigh, smelling the faintest bit of blood again in the air. A scent not uncommon in a group of redcaps, given their premise. Though, what truly annoys him is the subtle limp you attempt to hide as he marches over to you at the very rear of his guard.

Again, his men part for him silently. The simple power he exudes enough to silence even the rowdiest of the bunch.

“Are you that incompetent that you do not know how to walk properly, mortal?” He sneers, irritation clear on his features.

“I can walk just fine.” You reply bluntly.

“Then, keep up.” He snaps, turning so as not to waste another word on you for the moment.

With Mingi’s back to you, he fails to notice the harsh glare you send his way, but his subordinates do.

A harsh slap rings out through the forest, a dull thud heard soon after.

“You dare look upon our general with such vile contempt in your eyes?” Lias’ voice booms out through the surrounding redcaps, catching Mingi’s attention.

He freezes, turning to spare a glance over his shoulder.

There you rest, face down on the ground as you attempt to push yourself up. Your clothes are even more disheveled than before, dirt smearing your cheek. Yet, that harsh look still rests upon your face, even as the smell of blood becomes more prominent in the air.

“I didn’t ask for this.” You keep your voice low, but still clear enough for everyone around you to hear.

“Well, get used to it, Sweetheart,” Lias hisses, tugging you harshly back to your feet by the back of your neck. “You’re no better than a pet, now.”

You say nothing, instead opting to purse your lips. Your eyes narrow as you watch Lias retreat from you, hands fisted around the straps of the packs you carry as your whole body seems to tremble.

If Mingi didn’t know any better, he’d say you’re angry.

No… not angry. Disappointed.

Turning back to face front, Mingi decides to ignore you for the rest of the day. You’re not his responsibility, and how his subordinates treat you is truly none of his concern. Really, if it were up to him, he would have sent those two other humans bargaining for you to join them here in the fae realm packing. Perhaps he should have made an example of you all when he had the chance. Only, now, he’s stuck with you, and he’ll have to learn to deal with it, for the sake of his men. It’s not like you’re the only human he’s ever dealt with before.

Luckily, for the rest of the day, travel does not get halted again. You manage to keep up just fine, only falling behind once more near sunset. Mingi had wanted to travel for longer this day, covering more distance and hearing no complaints from neither you nor his men.

The faster they get home, the swifter he can deal with the mess that is you.

Mingi wants nothing to do with you. All you are to him is a pathetic little human. So frail, he could break you with the flick of his wrist. His eyes narrow on your figure as he sees you collapse against the side of a tree, none of his underlings sparing you any supplies as they set up for the night.

No food is offered to you, but you manage to scrounge some water. Your throat burns, and your feet ache as if they’re ready to fall off at a moment’s notice. The stitch in your side is finally calming down, and you’re just grateful none of these fae have ordered you to help them set up camp for the night. No, they stated they didn’t want you touching anything, or doing something wrong, and for once, you’re thanking your lucky stars for such a harsh verdict.

Lightly, you rub at your leg, right where you know that fresh wound still resides. It’s not a deep cut, but twisting wrong, or moving around too much aggravates the scar. Not to mention your limp which has returned even worse than before, due to the speed at which you’re expected to move.

Despite it all, you don’t say anything. No, you learned the hard way what talking back meant. Though, that might just be your one salvation through this all. Perhaps tomorrow you’ll see how far you can push these redcaps, and discover if their nature really lives up to their legacy.

For now, you settle deeper against that tree. It’s late, and you are exhausted. Sleep is one of the best things for you now, especially since there’s no way you can return to the life you previously once had. Thinking back on it now, you don’t know if you’d ever want to.

Not that you really ever had a choice.

The next morning brings another early start, you being commanded to carry even more than yesterday on your back. The only saving grace is that it seems the speed at which the band you’re travelling with has lessoned, but that doesn’t stop your whole body from aching.

Two more days pass like this, insults thrown at you by the surrounding redcaps, only for them to take out their amusement on you by either scratching you by ‘accident’, spitting on you, or pushing you to the ground. You manage to get some food, but it’s both rotten and vile. You’re honestly surprised your body hasn’t given up on you, yet.

You start to complain, but to your relief, or rather, disappointment, no one bothers to take your whining seriously. That, or they’re quick to shut you up, but not in the way you so desperately hope.

It’s around midday when you feel yourself lose your footing. The sun is shining brightly in the sky above your head, a few clouds drifting lazily by as you tumble harshly to the ground. The worst part is, you end up landing badly on your injured side. Unluckily for you, both that scar and your bad ankle are on your right leg which just so happens to land awkwardly on top of the root you tripped over.

You attempt to keep them at bay, but the sudden sharp pain you feel shoot up your leg sends tears to your eyes. You can practically feel your cut tear itself anew, a dampness seeping into the material of your tattered pants. Your breathing is heavy, and you can hardly force yourself back onto your hands, your entire body groaning in protest. Every ache pulses through you with each heartbeat, and in the back of your mind, you wonder if this is truly the end.

“What’s the hold up this time?” You hear a stern voice huff out above your head.

Mustering enough energy, you tilt your head upwards at the approaching figure. There’s a brief moment where the sun blinds you, filtering through the branches in such a way that burns your vision with a bright light until a shadow looms over you. Blinking reveals the redcap’s general standing before you, a look of pure ire marring his features as he glares down at you.

“Get up.” He growls, not even bothering to nudge you with his foot. You’re too far beneath him to bother.

A sad attempt is made by you once more before you’re collapsing on top of your weakened arms.

“I. Can’t.” You manage to get out through gritted teeth, squeezing your eyes shut through the pain.

Mingi snorts. “Pathetic.”

With a roll of his eyes, he storms away from you, barking out orders to set up the encampment. From what you can hear, he plans to move out during the night.

They need to stop to eat, anyways.

Insults are hurled your way by various underlings, some even going so far as to step on you as they walk passed. It’s as if you are worth no more than the dirt beneath their feet as you continue to lay there, weak and injured, just waiting and begging for death to finally claim you.

“You’ve really been a thorn in the general’s side ever since you joined us.” A voice to your left catches your attention.

“I didn’t ask to become a slave.” You retort is half grumbled into the earth, brow furrowing as you glare in the voice’s direction.

A chuckle is heard from above you. “Last I checked, you weren’t actually bound to this group.”

Out of the corner of your vision, you see a male, or rather, what appears to be a male, crouch beside you. He appears a bit shorter than his companions, perhaps even an inch or two shorter than you, and that’s saying something.

“My name’s Windfel,” he says lightly. “I’ve never met a human before. What’s your name?”

“Don’t worry about it,” you huff, finally managing to push yourself upwards and shrug those packs off of your back.

A hiss escapes you as you accidentally apply to much pressure to your right side, hand grasping over where that reopened cut resides. The dull throbbing you can feel, mixed in with the sight of days old blood and dirt only has you wincing. The wound is more than likely infected, and probably has been for the past few days. Only, you don’t have anything to treat it with, and it’s not like you can go around asking for help.

“Oh, you’re more clever than we give you credit for.” He grins. “You must know that telling a fae your true name means they have complete power over you.”

“You’re the ones who assumed me incompetent in the first place.” Your retort is low, and almost immediately, you flinch, as if bracing yourself for an impact of some sorts.

Again, he only chuckles. “That we did.”

“Is there something you want, Windfel?” The question is a bit harsh, despite you avoiding his gaze.

“Not in particular at the moment,” he hums. “I’m simply satisfying a mere curiosity. I’ve read a lot about you humans, thanks to the experiments in the Latha Court.”

“You experiment on humans?” Your eyes widen, a surge of panic washing through you.

“Yes.” He replies, somewhat cheerfully with a nod of his head. “We learn a lot about your kind that way.”

“You’re despicable.” A shudder caresses your spine.

“So I’ve been told.” He grins. “I am a redcap, you know.”

Out of the corner of your eyes, you notice him tip a flat cap stained dark red in your direction.

“I’m aware.” Your answer is blunt as you attempt to stand to your feet. You don’t get very far, for you immediately fall back onto your ass as your arms give out beneath you.

A small ‘oof’ escapes you as you land on your right side, eyes squeezing shut as more tears spring up from beneath where you’ve always tried to hide them.

“You’re not looking so good,” he observes.

“Thanks for noticing.” A low grumble is all he receives in response as you attempt to push yourself upwards once more.

Another chuckle. “I like your sense of humour.”

A side-eyed look is sent his way curtesy of you, “If you want to call it that.”

“Come on, I’ll help you.” He goes to lift you to your feet.

Immediately, you cower away from him, a brief panic filling your gaze as you fixate on his hands.

“I have no intentions of harming you right now.” He replies, somewhat calmly.

“Why are you trying to help me?” You eye him cautiously.

He shrugs. “I’m bored.”

As much as you don’t appreciate his answer, you have no better options. Somewhat reluctantly, you allow him to help you to your feet, guiding you to a tent already prepped and ready. He lifts the flap, allowing you to stumble your way inside and sitting in a chair as per his instruction.

The tent is large enough to fit three people comfortable, appearing more spacious on the inside than from the outside. You suppose it has to do with the magic of the fae, considering they’re able to store everything and carry it so efficiently in such packs, no larger than what you’re used to calling knapsacks.

“You know, you really have caused a great deal of annoyance for our general since your arrival.” He says as he grabs a roll of white medical cloth from a little side table.

“I never asked for this.” You mumble, keeping your head down.

“I’m aware you were brought unconscious into our ranks.” Windfel replies. “Is there a reason for that?”

“Not that I’m obliged to tell you.” Your eyes narrow suspiciously, watching every movement he makes closely.

You highly doubt anyone will come to your aid if you decide to scream for help.

“Just making conversation,” he responds, lifting his hands lightly in front of himself in a shrug. “I’m not a healer, so all I’m willing to do is let you wrap that wound. If you’re lucky, you won’t have to dress it when we get back to the keep.”

You purse your lips, eyeing Windfel as he places the roll of cloth beside you. A moment later, and he’s moving around the tent, rummaging through his own pack and pulling out a fresh pair of clothes.

“What, exactly, is this ‘keep’ you all continuously talk about?” You ask, somewhat warily.

He completely ignores your question, tossing the spare clothes at you.

“I don’t use these anymore, and although we typically enjoy the smell of blood, we don’t enjoy when wounds fester.” His nose crinkles along with his words. “There’s a small stream about a quarter of a mile to the northeast. I’ll take you there once you’re ready.”

“You’re being awful nice to me for someone who doesn’t like my kind,” You observe, eyeing him carefully.

“I care about my general, and anything I can do to… lesson his burdens, I will.” Comes Windfel’s simple reply. “When you’re ready, I’ll be outside.”

You watch him step out the opposite flap of the tent he entered, brow furrowing as the material slaps shut. Shouts can be heard outside, along with the hustle and bustle of the rest of the encampment being set up. You bet the rest wouldn’t have even notice you moved from that tree, yet.

Tilting your head downwards, you look at the clothes in your hand, feeling the fabric between your fingers. It’s been far too long since you’ve gotten any type of new clothing. Back in the human realm, the only time you got a new piece of clothing was when- no. You shouldn’t be thinking about that right now.

Swallowing thickly, you look over at that roll of white medical cloth. As much as you don’t trust this redcap, this is the first ounce of kindness you’ve received in quite a long time. There’s a part of you screaming at yourself not to believe it, but there’s another part, a part much more vulnerable that clings onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, things are starting to look up for you.

Your life has never been worth much, but perhaps someone is actually starting to see value in you that has never been there before. Then again, you probably shouldn’t get your hopes up. They’ve fallen too many times for you to count.

Taking a deep breath in, you grab that roll of medical cloth. Carefully, you wrap it in the bundle of clothes from Windfel, and stand back to your feet. Though you wobble slightly, you’re able to steady yourself, and within a minute, you’re exiting through the same flap that redcap did only moments before.

A single nod is all you give him as you stand outside the tent. A single nod of which he returns, motioning for you to follow him deep into the woods.

***

The journey to the stream is slow, taking well over an hour to get there. The distance is much greater than you were expecting, and the path isn’t easy at all. As much as Windfel seems to be ‘helping’ you, he did not once offer you a hand through the rough terrain of the woods through your travels.

“Will there be enough time?” You ask, eyeing the trickling water at the edge of the bank.

“Relax,” Windfel huffs out lightly. “Knowing the general, he’ll probably spend at least another two hours resting. So, as long as you don’t take too long, we’ll be fine.”

You purse your lips in response, but say nothing.

“I have no interest in watching you bathe, either, human.” He says, turning so his back is to you. “So, you needn’t worry about that.”

“I’ve never had much privacy, anyways.” You grumble, but as soon as the words leave your lips, your eyes widen. Terrified, you glance at Windfel’s back.

Choosing to either ignore your statement, or you entirely, he stands there, unmoving, His back is straight as he gazes out into the woods in the direction you both came, paying no mind to even the sound of water trickling behind you.

You turn back around.

Darting your gaze to the stream once more, you notice how clear the water seems to be. The movement against the stones appears languid, a gentle breeze flitting through the trees in the next moment. It’s almost as if the stream is inviting you in, luring you into it’s pristine waters, and the longer you stare at its enchanting depths, the more you long to dip your feet into its calming waters.

“What’s the catch?” You grit your teeth, cursing yourself for being so stupid.

“You humans always think there’s some sort of trick to everything, don’t you?” Windfel chuckles, and suddenly, you feel his hot breath on your neck. You didn’t even hear him move. “I could push you in, if you like, but I don’t think that would bode well for your wound.”

Your spine straightens. “I can get in myself, thank you very much.”

“You are most welcome.” The way you can practically feel him smile against your back has a shiver running down your spine.

A moment later, his presence at your back lessens, and you find yourself able to breathe easier once more. You spare a glance over your shoulder to see him resting in that same spot as before, his back turned as he begins to hum a small tune to himself. Eyeing him cautiously for a few moments, you finally turn back around to face the stream, deciding that he won’t actually do anything to you. Besides, even you are starting to not be able to handle your own stench, and that’s saying something.

Slowly, carefully, you begin stripping yourself of your old clothes. The tattered shirt you wear gets tossed onto the ground beside the new one, your pants following shortly after. You have enough mind to leave your undergarments on, just in case Windfel decides to play a trick of some sort on you, or run away with both sets of clothes. You still need something to wear, and Windfel is still a man.

Men are never good at keeping their promises. You learned that the hard way.

Stepping towards the very edge of the stream, you take your time sitting down. Each movement is stiff, pain shooting through your right side as you finally get a good look at the cut on your upper leg.

The wound festers, dried pus caked on the edge. The cut itself is swollen, days old blood littering the skin around it. From how bad it looks, you’re scared to even touch it, but a creeping thought in the back of your mind keeps you inching towards the water with every passing second.

You’ve had worse.

Carefully, you dip your toes into the crystalline water. It’s a bit cool to the touch, and causes you to jerk back, surprised by its icy feel. Yet, it’s alluring in a way, as if it’s the softest of silk that has ever caressed your skin. A luxury you have never been afforded, and you take the time now to savour it, despite the chill that clings to your feet as you submerge them beneath the gentle flow of the stream.

In no time at all, you feel yourself get used to the water’s icy chill, sinking deeper and deeper until you’re fully sitting on the edge of the river bank. Being mindful of your leg, you angle yourself so you can lean towards the water, cupping your hands together in order to gather the cool liquid in your palms and clean your wound.

The first few handfuls sting, but you grit your teeth and bear it. With each handful of water, more and more of the dirt, grime, and blood is washed away, revealing the cut to have gotten longer over the past few days. All that running around must have strained it, and reopened the wound over and over again, leading to the edges widening, and the cut deepening.

No wonder your whole leg has been aching. You just hope the infection isn’t already in your blood. There’s no telling what may happen to you, then.

“Oh my, that looks bad.”

A voice from above your head startles you, and you nearly go toppling into the stream. Looking up with a hand clutched over your chest, your eyes wide in panic, you see Windfel leaning over you, inspecting your cut.

“A few more days and you would have had to cut it off,” he remarks casually.

You physically feel your heart drop, your eyes briefly shifting to your right ankle. You swallow thickly, a jolt of pain travelling all the way from your foot upwards to your hip as tears unwillingly spring to your eyes. Almost involuntarily, you begin rapidly shaking your head, protests falling from numb lips.

“I’m just shanking ya!” He laughs, boisterously at that. He even goes so far as to pat your shoulder a few times, wiping tears of joy from the corner of his eyes.

“You’re not very funny.” You whisper, expression hard.

Windfel blinks, “Geez, tough crowd.”

You purposely avoid his gaze, looking back out over to the opposite bank of the stream. Your lips are pursed in a thin line as you slowly manage to get your breathing under control. Even you can hear the thunderous pounding of your own heartbeat, so you sure as hell know that Windfel can, too.

“I thought you weren’t going to watch me.” You mutter, slowly turning yourself further into the stream.

“No, I said I had no interest in watching you bathe.” He remarks, matter of factly. “There’s a difference.”

“If you say so,” you mutter, slipping into the water and putting a little bit of distance between you and that redcap. Not that it would really matter, in the long run.

The chill of the water causes your body to stiffen for a moment, only for the entirety of your muscles to immediately relax. The chill morphs into a gentle caress, and as you sink down to allow the water up to your neck, you find yourself letting out a small, blissful sigh through your nose. Involuntarily, your eyes slip shut.

“Feels better, doesn’t it?” Windfel hums.

Your eyes shoot open, turning to look over at the redcap who is back to standing in his original spot, facing away from you.

“I-“ you swallow, keeping your voice low. “I haven’t had a chance to bathe like this in a long time.”

“Yeah,” Windfel snorts. “I could tell.”

He makes a gesture similar to fanning the air in front of himself, and you find yourself rolling your eyes. You even go to far as to splash water in his direction before you can stop yourself.

Even though not a single drop of water touches him, your eyes still go wide. Not a muscle moves as you stare at him, your heartbeat thudding once more in your ears.

“Damn, human, you really are uptight.” Windfel snickers. “As if a little water could hurt me. It’s nice when such creatures are playful. Adorable, even.”

“I don’t think many would agree with you.” You mutter, gently pushing yourself backwards and creating just a tiny bit more distance between yourself and him.

“You’re probably right,” he hums. “Though, we all can agree on liking to be amused.”

“You confuse me.” You state blankly, rubbing at your skin lightly beneath the water and washing away any excess dirt and grime you can see.

“The feeling is very much mutual, human.” He replies. “I bet if you lived on your own as long as I have in the wild, you’d feel the same way.”

“Oh, yeah,” you hum, clearly not convinced as you dunk your head under the water briefly. “I’m sure.”

“Oh, come on! You’re telling me you’ve never lived in the woods before? Never fought for your own survival all by you little lonesome?” Windfel’s voice is slightly mocking, and you know he’s probably only trying to get a rise out of you.

Unfortunately, though, it’s working.

“I think you and I have two very different definitions of survival.” You say, scrubbing a bit harder at your skin.

“Perhaps that is true,” he hums once more, as if considering your words. “But come on, you can’t tell me you’ve never wanted to know what it’s like to live on your own.”

“How do you know if I’ve lived on my own or not?” You retort, eyes narrowing slightly in suspicion.

“I don’t.” Windfel shrugs. “From what those of us who care enough to read about your kind can gather, it’s observed that you usually go out on your own once you reach a certain age.”

“And you’re one of those that have read about my kind?” You quirk a brow.

The longer you spend talking with Windfel, the more you seem to ease into the conversation. Though the water continues to feel nice around you, you also decide that it’s time to remove yourself from the stream so you can quickly dry off and make it back to the others. The last thing you need is for something to happen, or for you to finally face the wrath of a redcap.

At this point, that may just be a blessing.

There’s almost a slight tug at the back of your mind. With each step you take towards the bank and your awaiting clothes, a small voice tells you to stay. The water seems to be caressing your entire body, becoming denser around you with each step. It’s almost as if the stream is trying to hold you down, to force you to not leave its waters. Yet, despite it’s almost enchanted callings, you persist, managing to pull yourself out of the crystalline water and back onto the side of the bank.

The consequences of staying far outweigh the rewards in your mind.

You fail to notice how Windfel’s brow quirks in surprise, but he continues on the conversation as if nothing is wrong.

“I’ve read a few things, yes.” He confirms. “Knowledge is power, or haven’t you heard?”

“Power is power, no matter where in the world.” You grumble, flicking off as much excess water on your body as you can before beginning to wrap your upper thigh with that medical cloth. Once finished, you tie it off quickly, but not tight enough that it will hurt you even more than you already are. A moment later, you stand back to your feet.

“Spoken like a true scholar,” Windfel teases lightly, his back still turned to you.

Slowly, you begin pulling on the clothes he leant you. The pants are a little short around the ankles, but they fit surprisingly well. Considering the size difference between the both of you, you’re surprised the shirt even managed to pull over your head, but it’s loose, and you’re grateful for the soft material that graces your skin.

“Still, you should definitely try living on your own at some point.” He remarks casually. “There’s no feeling quite like freedom.”

Your whole body freezes, gaze slowly trailing over to where Windfel stands, now at the edge of the wood. He seems to be holding a bundle in his hands, and when you look down, you realize that it’s your old, raggedy clothes.

“I wouldn’t know.” You state, rather firmly as your eyes narrow at the redcap across from you.

“Oh, yes, well,” he finally turns back around to face you, a grin tugging at his lips to reveal all too sharp fangs. “About that…”

“If you’re going to kill me, get it over with.”

Your words clearly catch him off guard, for now it’s his turn for his eyes to widen in shock.

“My dear, why would I want to kill you?” He chuckles, shaking his head. “You’ve done nothing but be forced upon us since the start. I may be a monster, but I’m not unreasonable.”

“Like I’ve never heard that one before.” You mutter, rolling your eyes.

Again, your breath hitches as soon as the words leave your lips, and you find yourself flinching backwards away from Windfel instinctually.

He frowns, but doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he says, “I told you. I care about my general and how much your presence burdens him. It’s easier this way if you just disappear.”

Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “You want me to disappear, but not kill me?”

“For the most part.” He blinks, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“How do you expect me to do that?” You frown, doing whatever you can to hide the clear exasperation in your voice.

“Run away.” He states.

“Excuse me?”

“Run away.” He repeats with a slight shrug of his shoulders. “I doubt they’ll even notice you’re gone.”

Now, it’s your turn to blink at him. Once. Twice. Three times in disbelief as you cannot keep your mouth from falling open in shock.

“You’re shitting me.”

“I think the whole point of you bathing was for that to no longer be the case.” He says smartly. “I told you. You’re a burden to our general, and if I can relieve that burden from his shoulders, I’ll do whatever it takes. You’re not currently being hunted, so there’s no reason to kill you right now.”

“And where will I go?” You ask, incredulously. “I have nothing-“

“Find the Latha court, I’m sure those human lovers will take you in.” He cuts you off, a slight twitch to his brow. “Go that way,” he points off to your left with a clawed finger. “There’s a small town. I’m sure someone will give you a hand.”

“Like you did?” You quirk a brow, eyeing Windfel carefully.

“Exactly.” He nods. “Now, you best be on your way, little mortal. My patience is starting to wear thin.”

Though the last part of his words he says in a cheerful voice, the way his eyes gleam in the light of the setting sun unnerves you.

Without waiting for another chance, you take the one presented to you.

“I better not see you around again.” Windfel hums, and you can hear him beginning to trudge in the opposite direction that you are. “You won’t like it if you do.”

A shiver caresses your spine at his words, and you find yourself picking up your pace. Reaching the opposite end of the little clearing where the stream is, you quickly spare a glance over your shoulder. Windfel is nowhere to be seen, and you do not know if it should relieve you, or terrify you. All you do know, is that you have to put as much distance between yourself and that gang of redcaps as you can. To start, you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

The trek into town is a lot easier than you thought it would be. It only takes you about forty minutes to reach the outskirts, and with every step, you seem to gain better footing than before. The ache in your leg is dulling, and your head is the clearest it’s been in weeks. You don’t trip over any roots, or stumble over any rocks, either. If you didn’t know any better, you’d say things are actually starting to look up for you.

That’s when it hits you.

Is this even reality anymore?

Windfel could have cast a glamour over you. You could be under some sort of spell, or undergone some weird magic while bathing in that stream. You have no way of knowing what is true or not, unless you talk to someone. Even then, your chances of them tricking you are high, but it may be the only way to tell what is true or not.

Standing at the edge of the town, you do a quick scan of those you can see. The sun has already set, and the faint glow of lanterns casts a warmth around the surrounding buildings. There seems to be only a few people milling about, and honestly, you shouldn’t really call them people at all. From what you can gather, all these beings appear to faeries. Some have grand wings that sprout from their backs, ranging from feathered to those of the insect variety. Others, you can only discern from their height and pointed ears. The few flashes of razor sharp teeth aren’t that reassuring, either.

The only relief seems to be that all of the inhabitants steer perfectly clear of you. Save for one, who watches you fidget from across the way. His gaze dances with amusement, and you don’t know if that unnerves you more than if he were glaring. Long, dark hair is pulled back in a half-ponytail to showcase his sharp features. He sits on the edge of some steps leading up to what appears to be a shop of some sorts, his elbows resting on his thighs as he leans forward.

The moment he catches you staring, his eyebrows quirk curiously.

Turning away quickly, you curse yourself. You’ve always been used to blending in back home, that you didn’t realize just how much you’d stick out in the Fae realm. Perhaps you really are in over your head, but where else are you supposed to go?

A voice, smooth and deep, coming from behind startles you.

“Are you lost, Little One?”

#thrill of the hunt #cultofdionysusnet #mfu-net #yandere mingi #yandere ateez #mingi scenario #mingi imagine #ateez scenario #ateez imagine #kpop scenario #kpop imagine #yandere kpop #kpop au #fantasy au #chubby reader #tall reader #fae au

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attroxx · 8 months ago

Text

GET TO KNOW THE MUN

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐮𝐩 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬 ?

as far as canons go, they are my lil glorbo's. i have a thing for main characters, especially underrated main characters. naruto and atsushi are just my lil guys that i heavily relate to in one aspect or another. i'm writing an alt verse of atsushi but i love atsushi's character in general ( i've considered adding his canon self ) john has been a recent add to this blog and just...i really love FAITH, the game hits all the good religious trauma / horror notes for me. i love a priest who is dabbling with his faith and loyaltys. as for my oc's well, some of them i've had for years ( dom and mia ) but a lot of them are new since i made this blog and i love each of them differently but deeply.

𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 ?

i'm pretty down for most genres. there are some tropes / writing themes i'm not into like pregnancy threads ( i could make an exception for mia ) and obviously gross shit like incest / pro-ship stuff makes me sick. heavy no. otherwise i'm pretty open to things like horror, comedy, romance, dark themes, religious themes.

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 ?

i love writing romance and i'm tired of being made to feel sorry for it. of course i love writing angst, familial things as well but i really enjoy romance. i am a hopeless romantic in real life so, i just love shipping and the different dynamics that come with that. i love writing religious themes and general horror. i love writing characters who are total opposites it's just super fun.

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ?

mostly at random. i'll see something in a movie or have a random thought and it leads to other thoughts and boom headcanons. my muses just give me vibes on things and it stems from that...idk i dont have a system LOL

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐜 ?

music. i gotta have music. even a yt video in the background works but i gotta have noise. lmao.

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 ?

mostly wing them. plotted things i have a little bit of an idea how things will go but i'd say 99% of shit i write is never plotted so, it's all me just winging it. i don't really enjoy super plotted threads tbh cause then it feels like i'm just coloring in the numbers ? i like things to be a little loose and free.

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 ?

yes very much. but not just romantic. platonic and familial is good too. <3

𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐬 / 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 ?

salem ~

𝐚𝐠𝐞 ?

i am 28 *cries*

𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐝𝐚𝐲 ?

october 1st, libra gang

𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫 ?

pink, blue, black

𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬 ?

next. lmao how am i supposed to pick favorite songs of all time ? smh.

𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 ?

scream 6

𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐝 ?

i'm not sure ? probably one of the 4 anime i'm watching rn

𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 ?

moving out - kacey musgraves

𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐨𝐝 ?

potatoes, seafood, ramen, sushi, chicken ( mostly fried chicken or wings ), pasta, chocolate and a bunch of stuff i love food i love eating out at a good restaurant.

𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 ?

fall, it's the best season. i don't mind early summer either but august is too fucking hot. i hate winter . . . i got seasonal depression and i live in midwest hell so winters are terrible here.

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐭𝐮𝐦𝐛𝐥𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝 ?

would have to be @aeviare who is on hiatus rn but she's my babe. lmao. we met on tumblr rp in 2020 and i've flown to see her multiple times and talk every day so. but other than tiff i'm not sure ? sighs. i'm very shy and i do love getting to know my rp friends but sometimes conversations just die and i'm horrible at reaching out. i'm just . . . i'm a shy lil guy okay i'm trying to be better but. (: personally i consider all my mains good friends but idk if they would say the same so. shrugs.

tagged by: @blaecdog tagging: @mythcaels, @metrictita, @fangier, @mundanemiseries

#〈 dash games. ★ 〉

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fionajames · 1 year ago

Note

Hey, Jamie. Sorry if I’m bombarding you with requests. I’m going through a really hard time right now and it sucks and might sound weird but your writing actually makes it a lot better and I’ve been re reading a lot of your recent works to feel better.

Anyway I’m not here to talk about myself sorry. Requesting time once again: can i please have prompt #13 “I thought you were dead” with your choice of characters and maybe a little horror and/or gore?

Thanks, sincerely, your number one fan, Sha 🫡

If I’m asking too much or too many times, tell me and I’ll chill

missing - my ocs

SHA IF YOU STOP REQUESTING IM DELETING MY ACC

DONT STOP I LOVE YOUR REQUESTS, PLS MOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I LOVE WRITING FOR THEM

I totally understand that and its not weird. I hope you feel better soon and im very very very grateful that my writing helps you.

alright you gave me the option of whom ever oc i choose so here is Satsuki Noriko an oc of mine. I introduced her in this: https://www.tumblr.com/fionajames/731230304426131456/ocs-pt-2?source=share&ref=fionajames post and if your interesting I did a smoll drabble about her first meeting with rex: https://www.tumblr.com/fionajames/731242121789636608/satsuki-meets-rex?source=share&ref=fionajames.

anyways, people REQUEST MORE IM BLESSED EVERY TIME I SEE A NOTIFICATION ON THE INBOX SECTION WHEN I ENTRE TUMBLR.

ENJOY!!!!!

Satsuki grunted as she spat on the ground of her cell, attempting to get the metallic taste of her own blood out of her mouth. She shivered as she shuffled backwards on her knees towards the wall, rubbing her wrists in pain. The cuffs bounding her wrists were so tight the skin underneath them was red and raw, but her captives didn’t care about that.

Satsuki breathed in deeply, savouring the feeling of the cold air on her tongue to try and block out the ache of her throat when it throbbed from the brittle wind scratching at it. It had been so long since she’d been in this cell, and the only way she was able to keep track of the days was by the light coming in through the tiny window at the top of the wall.

The guards outside her cell and the others paced back and forth, face hidden by their helmets. Satsuki coughed as she shuffled to the metal bed she slept on, using her tied up hands to haul herself to her feet. The bed was beyond uncomfortable - it was probably more comfortable to sleep on the floor - but Satsuki relished the thin sheet she’d been provided as a blanket. It hurt too much to lie on her back so she lay on her side instead, waiting for the call from the guards.

“Lights out!” One of the Mandalorians called - as though there were lights to turn off - as he marched away from the cell corridor in his shiny black armour. Satsuki hated that sleek, black armour more than anything.

‘Lights out’ meant to sleep on your bed - not on the floor - facing the wall so the guards could see your bound hands. Satsuki listened to the quiet rustling of clothes as the other prisoners copied her, clambering onto their metal slabs for the night.

A few moments later, the Mandoralian guards of the night shift entered and Satsuki watched the faint shadows of the bars from her window fade, her signal that it was nighttime.

Sleep never came easy to any of the prisoners, but at least they were allowed it. Satsuki knew that every single one of the prisoners - including herself - feared the day where sleep was not permitted, and so they forced themselves to sleep. Satsuki squeezed her dull black eyes shut - dull from the days of hiding in the dark - and waited for uneasy and silent sleep to take her.

“Lights on!” A voice shouted and Satsuki shook herself awake, blinking away the tears in her eyes away as she scrambled from her bed to her cell bars, collapsing on her knees.

The sleekly armoured Mandolorian returned - or at least it looked like the same one, it was hard to tell when they all bore matching armour - clutching a metal tray. He shoved it through the gap in the bars near the floor and Satsuki managed a ‘thank you’ as she bent down.

No-hands eating was rather hard - she’d discovered - as she took the rations bar in her mouth and tilted her head back, letting it fall into her mouth and chewing hurriedly. The Mandolorian reached through the bars and clicked with his mouth. Satsuki stood up quickly as the guard pressed a cup of water to her lips and gently tipped it back.

He - Satsuki could tell it was a boy - refilled the cup and let her drink from it again, as she savoured the taste of the fresh cold water. After she’d finished the second cup, Satsuki watched as the Mandolorian filled the third cup to the brim, letting her drink from it again. But when she was done, she noticed something at the bottom of the cup. The Mandolorian tilted the cup back so the contents fell on the floor and without a moments hesitation, Satsuki placed her foot over the object.

“Hey, what do you think you're doing!” The Mandolorian shouted but Satsuki could see from his body language that he was faking - acting - for whatever reason she did not know. “Get back to your wall!” Satsuki nodded and did as she was told, dragging her foot along the ground to bring the objects with her. The Mandolorian took the tray and left - but she knew he would return shortly to stand guard. Satsuki bent down and lifted her foot, using her hands to awkwardly pick up the two objects, placing them in front of her so her body hid it from everyone but her.

Satsuki managed to somehow stifle a gasp open seeing the reveal of the two objects - eyes widening as her mouth fell open in a gape. Footsteps behind her signalled the guard had returned to his post, but she didn’t turn around.

In front of her was a small black remote with two singular buttons alongside a piece of crispy, old flimsi that read six simple words. Six simple words that changed Satsuki’s life. ‘I’m getting you out of here’ was scribbled on the paper in messy, Galactic Aurebesh.

Hesitantly, Satsuki looked back at the remote and at the shining green and red buttons. Glancing behind her once - seeing only her guard - Satsuki bent down and pressed the green button with her nose roughly. She gasped when the pressure on her wrists ceased, and the cuffs clattered to the ground behind her. Satsuki hurriedly shuffled around to hide all three objects as she massaged her bruised and abused wrists, licking the cuts with a grimace. They’d need treating. If we can get out of her, she reminded herself, glancing at the Mandolorian who was watching her carefully.

She moved a ‘thank you’ and he gave her the smallest of nods.

Then, all of a sudden, the Mandolorian whipped his pistol out of his holster and shot two nearby guards, their bodies falling to the ground slightly within Satsuki’s view. She gaped and then stood up, rushing to the bars as the Mandolorian ducked away from blasts, shooting at the remaining guards who collapsed lifelessly.

They were not expecting a fight, Satsuki inwardly mused with wide eyes. The Mandolorian turned to her and typed a code into the keypad. The red-haired girl watched - frozen - as the gate slid open, the bars no longer in front of her.

“C’mon,” the Mandolorian commanded but Satsuki didn’t hear as she stared open-mouthed at the empty space where the bars had been. The Mandolorian snorted and shrugged off his helmet, revealing a boy around Satsuki’s age with fluffy black hair that covered his face, dark swirling eyes and natural-tan skin. He rolled his eyes at her. “Come on, Noriko, let’s go!”

Satsuki could barely comprehend the open-doorway in front of her as she accepted the pistol he shoved into her chest and scrambled after him, glancing back at the remaining prisoners. “Can’t we free them?” She asked in a hushed voice as they reached the exit.

The Mandolorian rolled his eyes again and slammed a button on the keypad, watching all the doors open. “Happy?” He snarked with a sarcastic grin, grabbing her wrist and dragging her through the doorway and up the stairs.

“Who are you?” Satsuki shouted at him as he ran his free hand through his hair, tossing the fluffy wisps around as he let go of Satsuki’s wrist and grasped his other pistol.

“I’m Aramis Yvain,” he replied as she tripped over a step clumsily. Aramis ducked to pull her back up to her feet, continuing to hurry up the stairwell. “I’m getting you home.”

“Why?” Satsuki huffed as Aramis opened the next door. She rolled through the open doorway and fell into a sort-of crouch, placing her pistol-gripping-hand in her open palm to steady it as she shot down two Mandolorians. The remaining three spun around and Aramis quickly fired three blasts, two hitting their targets and the final missing. Satsuki rotated sharply and shot the final.

“Impressive,” he muttered, ignoring her question. Satsuki grinned proudly before her stomach twisted at the reminder of Rex - who taught her how to fight like that. “I don’t think you deserve to be here.”

“Thank you,” Satsuki told Aramis as she watched him open the door ahead, showing no relief when it was empty. “For saving me, and believing me.”

“Well,” Aramis smirked as he opened the next door, abruptly tackling the Mandolorian ahead. Satsuki shot the other three whilst her companion grabbed his opponent in a choke hold and brought back his arm sharply, killing the man. “No one else was going to.”

Satsuki nodded sadly, knowing the truth that everyone else thought she had died. It shook her to the bone as she thought about her friends and family. Hopefully they’d been upset about her ‘death’, as she’d be devastated if they didn’t care.

“How do you plan on getting us out of here?” The red-haired girl asked as they continued through the base, shooting and killing everyone they saw.

“Well,” Aramis began, kicking a guy in the face before shooting him in the chest. “Assuming that comm you had on you can contact a friend, we’re going to get it back from the belongings room.”

Satsuki grinned wildly, knowing that the comm he was talking about was connected to Rex’s channel, meaning she’d be able to contact the Captain and 501st with it. “Of course, my new friend.”

Aramis rolled his eyes at the mention of being her ‘new friend’ and shot her opponent. Satsuki jumped over his crouched figure and shot the Mandolorian behind him.

Then the door in front of her opened quickly, and a group of Mandalorians entered the room. They fired quickly and Aramis dropped to the ground, watching as Satsuki did the same but… differently. “Noriko!” He screamed as he scrambled to her figure, dragging her collapsed body behind a cargo crate as he killed the Mandolorians quickly. Aramis sucked in a breath as he studied the harsh black wound on her shoulder, meeting her raven-eyes with a horrified expression. “That doesn’t look good.”

“Doesn’ feel good ei’er,” Satsuki muttered, her face paling as it scrunched up with pain. She whimpered. “Aramis I don’ wanna die.”

“Hush, Noriko,” he told her, cradling her body as he pulled a canteen of water off of his belt, pouring it onto a cloth and dabbing it on her wound. Satsuki cried out but he persisted. “You’re going to be okay.” He told her sternly, as though it were an order.

Aramis pulled Satsuki up and draped her arms over his shoulders and her legs around his waist, carrying her like a baby as he continued to the belongings room. “We’re almost there,” he assured her, shooting down another few Mandolorians before they had time to even register the arrival of the pair.

“‘Hat’s good,” Satsuki murmured, eyes closing as she tried to push against the pain. Aramis smiled grimly at her attempt to stay awake as he entered the next room.

“We’re here,” he told her, placing her down on a cargo crate gently as he hurried around the room. “Noriko, Noriko, Noriko” Aramis muttered as he glanced at each box, searching for the one labelled as Satsuki’s. “Aha!” He cried out as he yanked a wooden box down from a high shelf, breaking it open on the floor and rummaging through the objects.

A comm fell into Aramis’ palm and he tossed it to the injured girl as he gathered the rest of her stuff. “Comm your friends, quickly!”

Satsuki muttered something under her breath before pressing the button. “Rex this is Satsuki, Captain Rex come in,” she called into the device as Aramis left her side. He began muttering his own name under his breath and then gasped from out of sight.

“Aha!” Amaris exclaimed as he tugged a box down and began changing out-of-sight from Satsuki. The girl continued attempting to comm her friend and frowned when she received no response. “Ya like?” Amaris asked as he stepped into view. He’d ditched the sleek black amour and was wearing black jeans, a grey t-shirt and a black leather jacket. He had three silver rings on each hand and a dark brown belt with a holster on his right side.

“Lookin’ badass,” Satsuki mused as she yawned, rubbing her eyes. “Captain Rex, do you copy?” Amaris’ grin dropped at the silent response before a beep from the comm made both of their faces light up.

“I copy,” a familiar voice replied - monotone and emotionless. Satsuki frowned. “Who is this?” Amaris raised an eyebrow at the girl who offered a short shrug.

“Rex?” Satsuki repeated. “It’s me, Satsuki.”

The line went silent for a second, before the Clone replied. “Satsuki?!” He exclaimed, sounding alive rather than dead like he had moments ago. “Where are you?” Amaris silently showed her the coordinates from his wristband and she repeated them to Rex. “Alright, the General’s permitted us to come get you, as long as he comes with.”

“Good ol’ Skywalker,” Satsuki chuckled, before coughing loudly as the first drop of blood fell from her wound, landing on her tattered clothes. Amaris cursed as his brow furrowed. He used the cloth he’d cleaned her wound with to bandage it. “How long will you be?”

“Your in luck,” Rex replied. “We’ll be there within the hour.”

“Good,” Amaris muttered, so quietly the Clone didn’t hear him. Satsuki smiled at her new friend as he passed her a ring he wasn’t wearing. It was a silver ring of a tooka and she grinned as he slipped it onto her pointer finger. “For good luck.”

Satsuki nodded and reached out her pinky finger as the line went dead. Amaris copied and intertwined their fingers. “Good luck for us,” the red-haired girl grinned maniacally. Amaris nodded as he sat down beside her. She rested her head on his shoulder as sleep grew more and more tempting, eventually letting it take her.

Amaris’ hand shot to his pistol as the door opened and he raised it, prepared to shoot. “Don’t shoot!” A voice called as a Clone with white and blue armour appeared around the corner. “I’m Rex!” The teenager dropped his hand with a sigh of relief as the rest of the Clones filed in. The Captain yanked off his helmet as he rushed to the sleeping Satsuki, cursing colourfully at the sight of her wound. “Kix!”

A Clone with a red medic symbol on his shoulder pad rushed in, placing a pack beside the trio as he began to tend to Satsuki’s wound. She shifted in her sleep and her arms opened at the feeling of someone touching her wound. “Aramis?”

“Right here,” he responded as he ignored the sharp, suspicious look the blonde Clone shot at him. “Your friends are here.” Aramis fiddled with the silver ring on his left middle finger - a shimmering skull ring - as the gazes of the room's occupants turned to him.

“Rex?” Satsuki sat up abruptly but Kix pushed her back down. Rex nodded and moved to pat her uninjured shoulder fondly.

“Right here, Vod’ika” the Captain soothed gently and Satsuki relaxed back into Aramis’ shoulder - who had stiffened at the Mando’a. “I thought you were dead, sorry, we thought you were dead.” Aramis couldn’t help but soften at the gentle and loving tone of the Clone.

“You should’ve known better,” Satsuki choked out with a grin and Amaris chuckled. “I don’t die.” Rex chuckled too, reaching up and ruffling the teenager’s hair fondly.

“I should’ve known. I’ll remember from now on.”

THAT WAS MY LONGEST ONE YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@techs-goggles9902 i hope you enjoyed that and request every. second. of. the. day.

REQUEST PEOPLE

IM SRS RN.

#star wars #clone wars #the clone wars #clone troopers #tcw #501st legion #clones #captain rex #anakin skywalker #prison #captive #oc #my oc #my ocs #satsuki noriko #amaris yvain #lookatmetaggingmyownocs #request #ka’ra writes ❤️

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overheaven · 6 months ago

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🍕🎹🎯❤️✂️💚🧠 for Everett please! 💜💜💜

THESE ARE FUN QUESTIONS LET’S GOOOO (sorry for the delay lol had my surgery as u know xD) 💗💗💗

under the cut since i got a little rambly!!

🍕 — What is their favorite food?

I haven’t been able to nail down a FAVORITE-favorite for him yet! But I do know he likes meat & rich foods. He’s really not afraid to get messy with some saucy barbecued meat which is kind of a charm point for him imo >w>

🎹 — Do they have any hobbies?

He has a few! Some are really dry, like reading medical journals and other professional development. Other are more lively and less focused on his field of study— collecting records and oddities like taxidermy pieces, reading fiction & poetry. He also really likes going to concerts or seeing live music, and visiting art galleries and museums. and of course then there’s the casual sex and the killing and the necrophilia :yikes emoji:

Bonus: I have an AU where he’s a musician, he plays bass guitar (which Lucy also picks up later)!

🎯 — What do they do best?

His job! He’s chief medical examiner for a reason. :> That title is a recent achievement at the time of his ‘canon’ story (2008-2009ish), but overall he’s been in the field and climbing the ranks for about 19-20 years by then. He sincerely likes figuring out the puzzle of a death and is very articulate in presenting his findings.

❤️ — What is one of your OC’s best memories?

Cheating a little bit on this one because he doesn’t have a singular best memory. Some of his most treasured memories are Lucy visiting for summers & then eventually getting full custody of her! He’s very fond of watching her grow into her own and bonding with her over music; taking her to concerts is something he recalls fondly often. ;w;

He also holds memories of his teenage sweetheart dearly, but that’s part of his esoteric history that he doesn’t share with anyone else. ;)

✂️ — What is one of your OC’s worst memories?

Cheating again because the years he wasted being married are all a miasma of ennui and frustration. 😬 He did love his ex at one point (at least, he thinks he did), but their relationship soured pretty quickly and both of them resented each other a LOT by the end of it. The silver lining is he got Lucy out of it all, at least.

💚 — What is your OC’s gender identity and sexuality?

He’s a cis man and like 99.9% straight lol. he’s experimented sexually with men (and maybe he’s kind of still open to that?), but yeah overall he’s attracted to women.

🧠 — What do you like most about the OC?

This is tough because I like everything about him xD I guess a good answer to encompass that feeling is: I like how indulgent he is! I made him & Lucy because I wanted to find a very specific flavor of a dark setting & taboo relationship, and I thought, “Holy shit I know how to write and draw. I can just make what I want myself!!” And I did! I’m giving myself everything I want with him!! So I’m ESPECIALLY happy that others enjoy him too ;w; I’m always thinking of new things about how his brain works and how he moves through their world, he’s challenged me to be creative but also trust my own process!

Part of that is also being proud of his design & personality, without trying to hold back on making him a really attractive character— sometimes I second guess character design because I don’t want to be corny or ‘mary sue’-ish with someone who is TOO attractive or perfect, but… no, we’re going balls to the wall and making a really fucking hot goth dad who is really smart and dangerous and it’s so sexy of him to be so fucked up LOL. I wanted to make a serial killer character who has babygirl sexyman vibes (think like, how fans lust after Hannibal Lecter or Patrick Bateman lol) as a sort of cheeky way to honor that type of fan xD Everett is my love letter to slasher fangirls, yandere fanatics, bad end lovers, people who understand the eroticism of sleazy horror movies, and so on. 🫶

#asks #ask meme #oc: everett #pangs OCs

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cyaino · 2 months ago

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Omg I pulled an all nighter reading your fic, it’s SO good!? I remember reading through the first chapter thinking how amazingly floored I was, then I was completely sucked in entirely. Oh the comforts of my bed, a day off from work/school, enjoying an amazing Star Wars fic is the best way to re-energize.

I love love this fic so so much: How you fleshed out different characters that I could tell apart their traits for who they are—you giving each character their own spot light to shine and balancing out their interactions with other characters—it makes the world feel more lived in and lively: Obiwan being a sweetheart, Ahsoka being her silly self, even making more OCs up with Emma!!!, etc., how there’s actual support for/from other women characters (makes me so sad whenever anakin fics paint Padmé as just an obstacle), the writing style is such a wonderful mix of gorgeous, serious tone settings and also humor (I can’t count how many times I giggled and kicked my feet with what transpired), and I just LOVE the first few chapters so much with the plot of language barrier. I think it’s such a compelling story arc where the characterization is only through physical movements and tone; forced to be in the same helpless state as the Reader being confused about the newness of it all—the misunderstandings, the desperation finding different methods to communicate, body language/facial expressions. SO SO GOOD!!! AND YOU STILL PORTRAYED THEM SO WELL!!!

The plot is so interesting too with how much mystery shrouds—I came up already with so many theories of why things are happening/how they’ll end (really hyping myself up for Anakin/Padmé/Reader endgame); I won’t add it though cause this ask is already so long/don’t wanna accidentally spoil newcomers T_T but I love when fics work out storylines in a multidimensional way with it’s varying complexities of “what is going on…”

Chpt 12 was so beautiful too with how you described the setting of the foliage and lighting, ooooh I am living within your fic!!

I can’t wait to see more of your future chapters and where you’ll lead the story—I’m so so excited (for more horrors Reader will face LMAO) 💗

Btw! Do you have any fav Star Wars x Reader fic recs (LOL recs autocorrected to Rex’s)

AAAAAA omg i had to read this like four times cos i kept getting flustered, thank you for such lovely long messages <3 I always come back to these when I'm feeling lost while writing

It's hard to talk about without spoiling because I have so much planned out already, but it's so cool to see reactions as things develop. i need to write faster so I can babble about things that haven't been revealed yet

I'm particularly excited to develop the love triangle (more of a web tbh) and see people's reactions.

I'm so happy that the mystery is coming across too! It's so hard to balance the right amount of clues without being too vague or too forward ;; This is my first multi chapter fic, so I'm learning as I go, but it's been a lot of fun :D

Unfortunately I haven't been in the fandom very long, so I don't have any recs but i'll try to post about them when I do !

Again thank youu, sorry I take forever to respond, I'm a busy-adhd-bee but i appreciate it so much <3

#asks

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mrsaltieri-real · 11 months ago

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His Perfect Victim (Mickey Altieri x OC!Dahlia Levine)

Chapter Sixteen: Lexi

Words: 3.2k

Warning/s: langauge, a lot of angst, past relationship trauma, mentions of sex and violence, mentions of pre-killer Mickey, relationship doubt, toxic relationships, Dahlia being lowkey gay for Mickey’s ex, etc

A/N: This was really intense to write. It’s a very important chapter though so I hope you guys enjoy! Goes into Mickey’s past a little more and makes Dahlia doubt a LOT. Thank you to @bisexual-horror-fan for beta reading and editing this for me! So much love!

Also, if anybody is interested to know the dynamic between Lexi and Mickey, I wrote a reader x mickey one shot a while back which is literally them. I’ll tag it. Raw (Mickey Altieri)

@lizey-thornberry

⬇️For reference, Lexi’s face claim is Alexa Demie⬇️

Well, this is fucking awkward.

I sat at the table, fingers drumming the stained wood anxiously. Lexi smiled at me, looking a little bashful as she sat herself in front of me.

“Do you, uh, want a drink or something?” I asked, quickly getting to my feet.

“Oh, uhm, yeah, water would be great?” She replied, smiling up at me. She didn’t seem anxious or concerned at all, rather the opposite. Not only that, but she seemed completely at ease, and it was making me a little uncomfortable.

But God, she was breathtaking.

I hummed to myself as I walked toward my sink, grabbing a glass and shakily filling it up with water.

Come on, Dahlia. Calm down.

“Thank you, Dahlia. I’ll get right to it. If that’s okay with you?” She asked as I handed her the glass of water and sat back down in front of her. All I could do was bob my head once.

My boyfriend's ex was here, across from me in my dorm room. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I felt too awkward to make eye contact with her. She was stunning. Intimidatingly beautiful. My insecurities were sneaking up on me rapidly and there was no holding them at bay. Every move she made, every flick of her hair and elegant movement, caused me to feel more and more self-aware.

She had a gracefulness about her, so much confidence radiated from every pore that just being in the same room as her was overwhelming. She tucked ran a hand through her long, black hair, sweeping it over her shoulder before dropping her hand to the table, her elegant and manicured fingers drumming lightly on wood.

Why the hell would Mickey break up with her? She was fucking perfect.

“How long have you been dating Mickey?” Lexi asked me after she took a sip of water.

“Eight months. Can I ask, I’m sorry, why are you here?” I asked my question tentatively, still not looking the stunning girl in the eye.

“I, uh…” She let out a sigh, placing the glass back down on the table. “I made a promise to myself that if Mickey ever got serious with somebody, I’d warn them.”

I stared at the woman like she’d grown two heads, my eyebrows raising as I asked, “I’m sorry, you’d warn them?”

What the hell was there to warn me about? Mickey was nothing short of a gentleman with me. Never pushed me to do anything I wasn’t comfortable with, always made sure I was okay. What could she possibly be worried he’d do to me?

“Look, Mickey can be… Intense. I just thought I should let you know, give you a heads-up, you know? I wouldn’t want anyone to go through what I went through with him and-“

“I’m sorry,” I shook my head, finally making eye contact with her. “What you went through with him? How do you even know who I am? That I’m dating him?” The questions came bubbling out before she could even attempt to answer, the stress of the situation beginning to hit me at full speed. I didn’t like this at all.

She smiled halfheartedly at me, shrugging slightly as she answered only my second question. “Everyone knows who you are, Dahlia. Everyone knows what happened to you and your friends in California last year.”

Her big brown eyes were sympathetic and didn’t have a shred of ill intent behind them. Maybe she was good at masking, maybe she was genuine.

“Okay, but how do you know I’m dating him?”

“I received a phone call a few months ago. Some woman named Debbie?” She looked at me, as if she was expecting some realization to cross over my face.

Debbie? I didn’t know anyone named Debbie.

She seemed to pick up on the fact that I had no idea who she was talking about and carried on, “Well, she told me that she was looking out for you, that you were dating Mickey, and she was worried. I don’t know how she got my cell or even knew who I was. But I felt obligated to come down here and tell you some things about him.”

The way she said that word, “him”, it had some venomous undertones that I couldn’t ignore. It actually made me flinch to hear it. Mickey is a cocky asshole, sure. He could behave like a dick. But he was a college student in his 20s, how bad could he have been when he was in high school?

This felt wrong, like I was somehow betraying him and his trust. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as Lexi continued to talk.

“Mickey has always been… Complicated. I dated him for over a year and I never met his family, he didn’t really seem to have many friends. He was eighteen and lived in an apartment all alone, which struck me as odd because we were still in high school, but he just said some crap about his family not being around. He was sweet at first, tentative and caring. But sometimes he’d act… Different.”

“Different?” I asked anxiously. My fingers twitched for my ring, but I ignored it.

“He’d be on some weird kind of edge for days on end and then completely disappear for others. He’d come back, and he’d have this weird wildness to him that I can't explain. It was like he was on some kind of high or something.” Lexi watched my face drop, and she leaned forward, shaking her head quickly.

“He was never violent with me. Well, not in that way anyway.”

“Not in that way?” I asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“Sometimes when we’d have… Sex, he’d go a little overboard.”

I didn’t flinch away from the comment. I was insecure, but I wasn’t insecure enough to feel bad about Mickey sleeping with an ex-girlfriend. But I did however feel uneasy about the way she spoke. Her face screwed up slightly as she relived some memory, and she shuddered delicately.

“You don’t have to tell me, Lexi.”

“I think I do. I won’t go into the details, but Mickey is dark. Darker than he’ll let on. Don’t get me wrong, he never forced me to do anything.” She said the last part quickly when she took in my expression. “It’s just… I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but just be careful, Dahlia. There’s something off with him, trust me.”

“Why would I trust you? I don’t know you. You’re some chick who dated my boyfriend and came to my door and started telling me to, what, dump him?” I couldn’t hold back the scoff. I felt a sudden wave of protection over him, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that she was being genuine.

I hated that. I hated that I was doubting my trust in the man who’d saved me from myself.

“Mickey hasn’t done anything to me.”

“Really? Nothing at all you can think of?” I pursed my lips like a fucking child, and she leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms across her chest. “Dahlia, I promise you this isn’t some weird ex-girlfriend shit, okay? Trust me, there is something wrong with him.”

“Trust you? I don’t know you!” I threw my hands up, letting them fall back down onto the table with a loud thud.

“Look, I get how weird this is, okay? I just… You’ve been through a lot and I promise you, he’s just going to make things worse. It’s not in him to help people, not really. Not unless there’s something in it for him.”

“Mickey wouldn’t do anything to hurt me.” My voice was stern, I couldn’t help how defensive I was feeling over him.

“Really? So he’s never done anything in an attempt to hurt or upset you?”

I hesitated, teeth sinking into my bottom lip and my gaze averting from her. He had. My mind flooded back to the party, that stupid party. We talked, we laughed, we bonded, but then he tried to kiss me and I rejected him. He immediately got angry, defensive and proceeded to trick me into walking into Sidney’s bedroom where he fucked a girl right in front of me.

With how well things were going, I’d all but forgotten about that night, as well as how much of an asshole he was. I wasn’t stupid, I know people didn’t change so rapidly in the way that he had. Was it all a trick? Was Mickey that good of an actor? Had all the movies and television shows he loves watching so much made him talented at hiding who he really was?

“That’s what I thought.” Lexi crossed her arms, leaning back in her seat. “Listen to me, Dahlia. He is not okay. It’s all a fucking act, okay? He’ll be the person you want him to be until he gets what he wants. It’s like he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it.”

“And what does he want?” My voice was small, and I still couldn’t look her in the eye.

“What do most guys want?” Her body language altered slightly before she cleared her throat and asked, “Have you…”

My eyes met hers for a moment and I shook my head. “No.”

“Then it isn’t too late.”

I scoffed, unable to stop myself from rolling my eyes at her.

“Not too late? What, is he going to fuck me to death?“I could taste the acrid bitterness of my words as I spat them out to her, my hands bunching up into fists.

“He’s just something else when it comes to it. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it’s fun, but it’s like he can’t help himself, like when he’s in the moment that mask just slips away for a while. It’s one of the many, many reasons he and I broke up. I know he never meant to, I think in a lot of ways he didn’t realize what he was doing, you know? We were young and stupid and inexperienced. But I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t warn you.”

“The only thing Mickey said is that things had ended badly between you two.”

Lexi surprised me by laughing, a genuine laugh and her head thrown back. “That’s what he said? If you consider him nearly killing me then yeah, it ended ‘badly’, sure!”

I felt a strange shudder go down my spine, goosebumps beginning to rise on my arms. “What?”

She stopped laughing, a small smile still toying on her lips as she leaned forward, as if she was worried someone would overhear her.

“There’s kinky, then there’s him. It wasn’t on purpose, he just gets…” She paused for a second as if she were trying to find the right words before settling on, “Lost in it. You just need to be careful with him. I’m not saying break up with him or anything, that’s not what this is. He’s just not right.”

“You keep saying that yet you won’t go into specifics.” I argued. As she looked at me, I could tell she’d noticed the slight waver in my body language, how on edge I was becoming. I did my best to mask it, but to no avail.

“So what, you don’t believe me?” Her tone wasn’t accusatory, more sad than anything. I could see the genuine worry and concern she had for me, some girl she didn’t even know. It was disconcerting as Hell and made the doubt in my mind gradually become more and more overwhelming.

“It’s not that I don’t believe you. I don’t know you. But I know him. He’s not the same stupid eighteen-year-old high schooler that you loved.”

“He never loved me, Dahlia. I don’t even think he’s even capable of it.”

Lexi shook her head. I could see in her face that she’d admitted defeat, and I didn’t blame her. I was so infatuated with him, I really don’t think there’s anything she could have said at that moment.

Looking back at it now, I didn’t deal with the Lexi thing in the right way. She told me all these things about Mickey, but I’d made the decision to repress and ignore because that’s the only way I could deal with it. I couldn’t believe for a second that Mickey would’ve hurt me. Surprisingly, I was right. He didn’t set out to hurt me in the end, but that’s exactly what he did.

“Look, I can’t stick around to change your mind, I don’t want to bump into him, but-“ Lexi grabbed her purse, pulling out a small piece of paper and a pen before she scribbled down a phone number with an L above it and stood up from the seat, “- Call me if you need me, okay? I know you don’t know me, but I don’t want anyone to go through what I did with Mickey.”

I looked at her beautiful face for a second before my eyes dropped to the paper she held outstretched to me in her hand. Furthermore, I hesitated for a moment before taking it, feeling a weird sense of betrayal the moment my fingers closed around the paper.

“I should go.” She walked toward the door, pausing for a minute to turn and look at me again. “You seem like a sweet girl, I get what he sees in you. Good luck, Dahlia.”

In Lexi’s eyes, I could see that she wanted to say something else, but she decided not to.

The moment she left, I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and wrapped my arms around myself.

Mickey’s ex-girlfriend making the effort to track me down after receiving a phone call from some chick named Debbie was naturally not sitting right with me, not at all. I felt the same wave of unease flutter over me, and I shivered as I stared toward the door after her, unsure of what I was going to tell Mickey.

I couldn’t tell him that his ex dropped by, that would be weird. But at the same time, didn’t he have the right to know? Wouldn’t that be a good way to know if he was hiding something?

I pulled my phone out of my jacket pocket, scrolling through my contacts until I found his name. My finger hesitated over the call button before I sighed, dropping my phone onto the table with a clatter.

If I wasn’t worried, if I had complete trust in him, why was the thought of telling him about this making me feel like I wanted to throw up?

The sound of my phone vibrating made me jump, “Jesus Christ,” I muttered before picking it up, seeing Mickey’s name printed across the small screen.

Another moment of hesitation before I tentatively answered, clearing my throat before speaking.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Dahli, sorry about earlier, you caught me at a bad time. I didn’t mean to be rude.” He sounded a little breathless, the strange excitement Lexi had described evident in his tone.

“No, it’s fine.” I tried keeping my voice even, not wanting him to catch on that something was wrong. I knew that conversation would be a headache, and over the phone wasn’t the right time to talk.

“Are you alright? You sound weird.” Mickey’s voice changed, a suspicious edge lingering in his words. Fuck, he knew me too well.

“No, no, I’m fine. Sorry, was just about to, uh, take a shower when you called.” I was a terrible liar but lucky for me, Mickey seemed too lost in his own distractions to notice.

“Are you sure?”

“Mmm.” I rolled my eyes at myself before clearing my throat again. “Yeah, I’m sure. I just miss you, you know?”

“I miss you too.” His voice changed again, back to the somewhat giddy undertone. I couldn’t help but wonder why he seemed to be in such a good mood. “I wanted to call and tell you that I’ve done what I needed to do quicker than I expected, so I’m on my way home. I’ll be about an hour, I’ll come by your dorm?”

I glanced at the door and down to the piece of paper with Lexi’s phone number on my table. I had an hour to get myself together because I had no doubt he’d see past my feeble attempts of lying.

“Yeah, that sounds great! I’ll see you soon.” I tried to make my voice light and enthusiastic, and clearly must’ve been at least halfway convincing enough because the phone call ended happily enough.

As I stepped into the shower, it did the opposite of what I wanted it to. I didn’t feel relaxed, I felt even worse. The hot water was doing a shit job at relaxing my tense muscles, it was like the burning water turned ice-cold the moment it made contact with my skin.

No way could I tell him about Lexi. I didn’t know everything about him, but I knew Mickey well enough to know how angry he’d be that she had tracked me down.

There were too many mysteries and confusions surrounding her arrival. How did she know where my dorm was? How did she know I was in a serious relationship with Mickey? Did he hurt her? Would he really hurt me? What if I’d been ignoring the screaming red flags because I needed him so badly?

He brought me back to life. When I came to Windsor, I was an emotionless wreck, a shell of a person who was just surviving rather than living. But he… He built me back up again. In my head, I couldn’t imagine the person Lexi described him to be when he was eighteen. But maybe I’d been completely blinded because of how much I loved him.

I loved Mickey. I knew I loved Mickey, and it was truly terrifying. I couldn’t even fathom the idea that he could hurt anyone, it just wasn’t him. But maybe I didn’t know him as well as I thought I did, maybe none of us did. He’d been an enigma, somewhat of a mystery, since I’d met him. He was very talented at only allowing people to know what he wanted them to. He was so charming and charismatic that it was too easy to see past what he could be capable of.

I was being crazy, right? I knew Mickey. How could I possibly know Lexi was even telling the truth about him? It was easy to think this way, but I couldn’t ignore the feeling that she was being nothing but truthful. The way she spoke about him, she had no ill intent behind her words. It didn’t seem like she hated Mickey or that she was jealous. She never told me that I should break up with him or that he was a bad person, just that there was “something wrong with him”. It was like she was genuinely concerned about what was in store for me.

But the one question that was toying with my mind the most, who the fuck was Debbie, and how did she know anything about me or Mickey?

#i know #two chapters in one week?#who am I?#this chapters a little more intense so tread lightly #thanks for reading!#scream #scream 2 #mickey altieri #dahlia levine #his perfect victim #mickey altieri x dahlia levine

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